


you'll be amazed what you'll find

by aeriamamaduck



Series: Alyosha [26]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Babies, Bars and Pubs, Brothers, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fatherhood, Fights, Found Family, Future, Future Fic, Gen, Half-Siblings, Implied Sexual Content, Insecure Yuri Plisetsky, Intimacy, Love, M/M, Marriage, Married Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Parenthood, Post-Canon, Retired Katsuki Yuuri, Revelations, Secrets, Sexual Humor, Time Skips, apologies in advance bc I don't know a lot about figure skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Yuuri retires and the future still has several surprises in store for his very young family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're FINALLY here! I've been waiting to write this fic for months. I hope you'll all enjoy it, and I will TRY to update weekly!

Months ago Yuuri honestly thought that it was probably unlikely that he'd end up retiring with a gold medal from both the GPF and Worlds. It was time for him to retire, and he was fairly certain he would have been satisfied even if his lucky "golden" streak ended somewhere along the way. 

 

But it wasn't so, and now he was standing at the top of the podium, throat tight with tears of joy and disbelief as he held up his gold medal, spots appearing in front of his eyes thanks to so many camera flashes.

 

He had half a mind to try and look for Victor in all that brightness, but he could already hear his husband's admonishments to take his bow, and let the audience shower him in adoration and congratulations. Soon enough they'd have their own time, something Victor had always promised Yuuri even when he couldn't be with him.

 

So Yuuri smiled, honest and overwhelmed, and cradled the bouquet of roses he'd picked up from the ice as tears stung his eyes. 

 

 _I'm not gonna cry,_ he said to himself.  _Not until I find Victor._

 

He took comfort in Phichit's and Minami's presence on either side of him. He wanted to celebrate this with his friends too, to mark this last victory and bid farewell to his competitive years with them. Phichit had seen him through so much, through the worst, and now here they were, sharing a podium.

 

The thought made him clutch the bouquet closer. He wanted to present it to his husband, along with his medal. His heart felt so full of a myriad of emotions that he couldn't possibly hope to sort out by himself. 

 

It felt like an eternity before he finally found his way off the rink and before Victor. Yuuri's ears rang in the aftermath of everything, muting everything out except for the sound of his heartbeat, like a steady drumming reverberating in his head. 

 

And right in front of him was Victor, eyes shining with tears Yuuri knew he was still restraining, and smiling at him with such warm pride and love, as though Yuuri had given him the world.

 

 _You gave me the world,_ Yuuri thought, his throat growing tighter with emotion as he stood in front of his husband, his partner, the man he once wanted to be, never imagining just how much they'd love and depend on each other. 

 

Clearing his throat and giving his husband a watery smile, Yuuri tried his best to keep his voice steady as he held his medal up in one hand. "In the end, I guess I stuck to tradition. One last gold medal for you to kiss-"

 

Before Yuuri could blink, Victor closed the distance between them and took Yuuri's face in his hands, holding it gently as he pressed their lips together.

 

Yuuri remembered not to drop his medal or the roses, sinking into the kiss with all the heat and adoration he could muster up in that moment. He inhaled deeply through his nose, filling his head with the scent of roses and his husband. 

 

By the time Victor broke the kiss they were both starved for breath, and Victor was gazing at Yuuri like he'd never tire of taking in the sight of him. Yuuri felt unstoppable under that gaze, something that had never changed in all their years together. "You did it," Victor breathed, his thumbs sweeping over Yuuri's cheeks. "You made it, Yuuri."

 

Victor seemed at a loss for words, his voice shaking slightly, and Yuuri could see all that pride and gratitude shining in those blue irises.

 

All at once Yuuri felt an enormous wave of gratitude, remembering yet again everything Victor was willing to do for him, for their relationship, through all the years of competing  _and_ coaching, and even through an injury that seemed to tell them both that Victor had done enough, that it was time to focus on one thing only.

 

Going over it all had Yuuri feeling utterly humbled, and he bowed his head as his feelings caught up to him. His tears dropped onto his hand, right on his ring, and he felt Victor press a kiss to the top of his head. " _Detka_ ," Victor cooed gently, fingers running across Yuuri's nape comfortingly.

 

There was so much Yuuri wanted to say and do. He'd been at this for so many years, and quite a few of those years had been with Victor. Now it was his turn to say goodbye to competition and move on to the other side of the barrier, watching younger skaters break the records he and Victor had worked so hard to set. It wouldn't be him waiting anxiously at Victor's side to hear how many points he got. Then he realized he would still be with Victor. From now on it would be both of them on the other side of the barrier, supporting Yurio and Mila and whoever else they took on as a student when the time came. 

 

Victor pushed himself as a coach as hard as he had as a competitor, now even more so, and Yuuri wanted to be his absolute partner in this. God, was he nervous about what was to come, but for now he could put i aside and tell his husband everything he needed to say. "Thank you," he said quietly, tears coursing down his cheeks. "Thank you for being so stubborn and pushy and never giving up on me." 

 

 

Then he smiled as he looked up at Victor, swallowing down a sob as he pressed the bouquet towards Victor. He laughed softly at the look of surprise on Victor's face, blown away by the beautiful sight of it. "...I'm glad you came for me," Yuuri managed to say with a sniffle. "I'm glad you took a risk on a...hopeless skater. At the start I thought you'd help me be you, but...you helped me be  _me_. The skater you knew I could be."

 

To his surprise Victor too started to cry silently, his smile tremulous as he took hold of the bouquet in one hand and cupped Yuuri's face with the other. "And you helped me be me," Victor said, letting his tears flow freely. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat, knowing I'd have this. You, us, and our son."

 

Yuuri's heart immediately warmed when Victor mentioned Alyosha. He was the most important reason for Yuuri to finally retire. The last season had been hectic, balancing practices and making sure they were there for everything Alyosha needed without hefting the responsibility to any of the other adults they trusted. 

 

Alyosha was with Victor's mother, likely still asleep. In a few hours Victor would call his mother and they'd get to see his face.

 

He was one more person Yuuri had wanted to make proud this past season, and he still vividly remembered the look of amazement on Alyosha's face when he presented him with his GPF gold medal. That sight alone had Yuuri and Victor holding back tears of joy, ones they shed in private once Alyosha lay asleep between them.

 

Soon Yuuri would present their son with this one last medal, and sit with him to watch the videos.

 

His theme had been "Beginnings." He'd dedicated his routines to his husband and son. He'd worked himself to the bone making sure they were as perfect as they could be, and skated his heart out as he always had, knowing who was waiting for him at the other end of everything.

 

"...Interviews," Yuuri reminded Victor, his voice still tight with emotion. "We have interviews, and about a hundred more things to do before we can celebrate and go home."

 

Victor laughed softly as he brushed away the tears on his and Yuuri's cheeks. He then held Yuuri's face between his hands again, gazing at him adoringly. "You were perfect," he said before kissing Yuuri's forehead. "I love you and I will  _always_ love you."

 

"I love you, too," Yuuri replied, his heart bursting with so many overwhelming feelings. "Victor, I..." Then he gave up and just threw his arms around Victor, embracing him tightly and pressing his lips to his temple, trying very hard not to cry again. "I..."

 

He felt Victor give him a one-armed embrace, those soft lips melding against the shell of his ear. "I know, Yuuri," Victor said, his voice slightly muffled. "I know."

 

He knew, and that was all Yuuri cared about in that moment. When he could, he would say it out loud, and he would repeat it over and over, even if Victor knew, just to make sure he at least heard it once.

 

Reality hit Yuuri like a wrecking ball for the hundredth time when, later on, he confirmed before the entire world that he was officially retiring at thirty-one. He knew that there would be a flood of reactions all through social media, especially among his fanbase. He could swear he saw Minami tear up a little out of the corner of his eye, but it didn't come as a complete surprise to the younger skater. Yuuri vividly remembered awkwardly patting his back when he broke into tears that past December when Yuuri confided in him. Phichit reached over to lay a comforting hand on top of his, squeezing briefly before taking his hand back.

 

They wished him well, he knew that. After so long he'd learned to count on them for that.

 

He could also count on Minami tearing up again once they were away from the cameras, sobbing loudly into Yuuri's shoulder while he gave Phichit, Mila, and Victor a helpless look.

 

And much, much later, in the quiet of their hotel room, Yuuri let Victor take care of him, Victor's hands stroking down the length of his sore body as hot water cascaded over them in the shower. Yuuri closed his eyes and felt Victor move him with care, his lips pressing chastely onto the water-slick skin of his neck, his jaw, his forehead.

 

It lulled him into a state of such sleepiness that he almost drifted off as Victor toweled his hair dry. Only the sound of Victor's soft, wonderful laughter woke him back up, and he could only laugh sheepishly in return.

 

He sighed heavily when he lay back on the bed, wearing a soft shirt and sweats. Victor crawled in beside him, taking him into his arms and holding him close. Yuuri smiled into Victor's neck as he buried his face against it, soothed even further by Victor's fingers combing through his hair.

 

Yuuri fell asleep to that sensation, a bone-deep satisfaction warming his entire body.

 

* * *

 

 

Restlessness raced through Yuuri's veins as he, Victor, and Mila wove their way through airport crowds with their suitcases in tow. They were all tired and eager to be home, and Yuuri was especially impatient, needing to see his son. 

 

Passing through the arrivals gate, Mila took it upon herself to give a few hops to see over a few heads to see if she could spot Yurio. "Come on, Yura, where are you- _THERE HE IS!"_

 

She raced towards him and, without thinking, Yuuri followed after her, his heart slamming against his chest in happiness because Alyosha was  _so close_.

 

Getting through the crowd they were all able to easily spot Yurio and the boy beside him.

 

Yuuri slowed at the sight of Alyosha, and memories of the past couple of years rapidly passed through his mind. Meeting Alyosha, small and shy, watching him learn to trust them, hearing him call them his fathers, and watching him gain more confidence on the ice.

 

He was almost six years old and he'd grown so much. Yuuri felt like he'd blinked and missed it.

 

Victor hadn't slowed at all, and he sped past Yuuri to lift Alyosha into the air with a joyful laugh as the boy beamed excitedly. Yuuri smiled at the sight before going over to take Alyosha into his arms. Holding him again felt like the first deep breath after being underwater, and Yuuri knew he could be happy with his choice.

 

"I missed you, Tou-san," Alyosha said quietly, resting his head on Yuuri's shoulder.

 

He shut his eyes for a moment, feeling Victor wrap them up in a tight embrace. "I missed you too."

 

When they all parted, Yuuri handed Alyosha back to Victor so he could turn and face Yurio. The now-taller young man was grumbling as Mila hugged him and ruffled his hair, which reached halfway down his back now. He hadn't qualified for Worlds after a few bad falls in the Russian nationals, a disappointment he and Victor were still working through. If he was bitter he was hiding it well, but he was still entitled to it, in Yuuri's opinion.

 

"Say you missed me, Yura!" Mila goaded as she hung on to Yurio. 

 

"Fine, I missed your ugly witch face," Yurio growled, dislodging himself from her grip. "Now get off or I'm not letting you get into my car."

 

"Ah, such sweet children," Victor sighed as he went to take his turn hugging Yurio, who groaned in dismay. "Now we're all together again and we can start working on your routines for next season!"

 

Yurio slithered away from Victor, but Yuuri had been watchful and long ago learned that if he wasn't quick enough the young man would bolt. So as soon as Yurio was distracted Yuuri darted in front of him to hug him tightly.

 

Stiffening in his arms, Yurio muttered, "Fine, fine, you all missed me, now  _let go."_

 

Yuuri didn't let go, squeezing Yurio again and quietly saying, "Victor wasn't the only one pushing me to be better. To stop settling. Thank you, Yurio."

 

And then he felt Yurio relax in his grip, sighing in defeat before grumbling so only Yuuri could hear, "Yeah, well...you and that dumb geezer kind of did the same for me."

 

Yuuri could hear so much in those words, and he sorely wished Yurio could have actually been in this last competition with him. 

 

Now Yurio and Mila would have to depend on him too. Yuuri may have tried to learn everything he could about Victor's methods, but he still felt like he had a lot to do before he felt like a real coach.

 

Holding Alyosha in one arm, Victor asked Yurio, "Didn't Otabek come with you?"

 

"He's back at your place. He wanted to help your mom make you guys food," Yurio replied as he shrugged out of Yuuri's embrace. Yuuri kept his gaze on him, briefly glancing at Victor to find him doing the same. Nationals had hit Yurio hard, and it would very likely affect his performance in the coming season. 

 

Yuuri would have to help see him through a comeback. 

 

That was certainly nerve-inducing.

 

Mila sighed heavily and started making her way to the exit, calling over her shoulder, "Let's get going then, kitten! I'm starving and we've got medals to show Alyosha!"

 

" _Don't call me that, hag!"_ Yurio yelled after her, leaving Yuuri, Victor, and Alyosha behind.

 

Smiling in their direction, Yuuri laughed softly and turned to look at Alyosha. "It's true. I brought you another gold medal."

 

Alyosha beamed and bounced in Victor's arms. "Let's go, let's go!" he demanded. "Beka and  _Babushka_ want us to eat before you show me the skating! Come on, I wanna watch it!"

 

Victor laughed before pressing a kiss to Alyosha's cheek. "Alright, alright. Bear with me, I'm very old and tired."

 

Giving them both a fond look, Yuuri walked beside his husband and son, tired and incredibly glad to be home.

 

He'd rest and prepare, moving on with his life and meeting every change that came his way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise update! enjoy the domesticity. I know I do.

The notepad was full of frustrated scribbles, and Yuuri had found himself needing to start over on a fresh page several times as he continued to listen to the music playing through his earbuds. 

 

He was sitting on the couch, legs crossed tightly as tension wound through his muscles and pounded into his temples. Victor and Alyosha hadn't been gone long, but Yuuri still felt like he'd been sitting there for hours, pen repeatedly tapping against the notepad.

 

Honestly, the piece was probably fine the way it was, but Yuuri kept thinking it needed more, to perfectly follow the tune Mila and Victor had already agreed on, and they  _had_ asked for his input.

 

Sighing heavily, Yuuri put the notepad on the coffee table in front of him and leaned back onto the couch, closing his eyes and willing the tension away from his limbs. He was looking at it too closely. He took a breath, let it out, and reached for his phone to start the song from the beginning. 

 

Whatever he was thinking, it would probably show itself eventually if he just...backed away a bit. 

 

So he did, keeping his eyes closed and listening to the piece once. Twice. Three times...

 

He felt an earbud pop out of his ear, and heard a familiar voice ask cheerily, "How's the music?"

 

Yuuri leapt in surprise, the movement making the other earbud pop out as he gaped at his husband who looked at him in amusement. " _God!_ You scared me!"

 

Victor chuckled as he ruffled Yuuri's hair fondly, gently tugging on a strand and sighing, "I stood there for an entire minute waiting for you to notice me. But it seems that my husband, the love of my life and the father of my only child, has forsaken me for another. Why else would he be so lost in thought and ignoring me?"

 

Giving his husband a dry smile, Yuuri caught Victor's hand and his and quietly said, "Come here and sit down." Victor did so, but not without leaning in to wrap his arms around Yuuri's waist and bury his face in his neck with a contented hum. Yuuri's eyes scrunched shut as he laughed, squeezing Victor and tugging him over him as he lay down on the couch and let Victor settle between his legs, loving how soft and warm he felt on top of him.

 

Resting his chin on Yuuri's chest, Victor reached up with a hand to let his finger trail over Yuuri's forehead in little circles that had tingles traveling across Yuuri's scalp. Closing his eyes for a moment, Yuuri sighed and enjoyed the sensations, asking in soft tones, "Did you and Alyosha get to school okay?"

 

"Absolutely," Victor replied, nuzzling Yuuri's chest and smiling like he was in paradise. "Now tell me what has you so distracted that you completely ignored me."

 

"Dramatic," Yuuri accused with a laugh as he ran his fingers through Victor's soft hair. "It's Mila's piece," he admitted as he played with the silver strands. "It was already fine the way it is, but..."

 

"But what? Tell me," Victor urged.

 

Yuuri bit his lip and shook his head a little, trying to get his thoughts to make sense. "I don't know, I mean...I just think Mila could do something more with this piece. The music's understated, almost peaceful, but it has surprises of his own before the end, and the routine should reflect that." He looked down and met Victor's eyes, which were focused on him and wide with interest. "I'm probably overthinking it," Yuuri murmured, moving Victor's bangs back.

 

"Not at all," Victor said with an encouraging smile. He then straightened until he was kneeling between Yuuri's legs, asking enthusiastically, "Have you thought of anything yet?"

 

Sitting up, Yuuri shook his head again with a tired sigh. "No. That's just it. My brain's still checked out." They'd been home for the entire weekend and Yuuri still had to periodically remind himself that he was retired, and he'd announced it in front of the entire skating world. His social media was bombarded with messages of support and links to videos of his various routines, but the one that seemed to have the most circulation was his and Victor's infamous kiss in Beijing during their first season together as coach and student.

 

It was overwhelming in a good way to see his entire career laid out like that, even what came before Victor became his coach. It had all happened and, despite the crushing losses, had been extraordinary.

 

And he understood why such a decision had been so impossible for Victor. 

 

All of that kept preoccupying his mind, and he thought that settling back home would give him a chance to organize it all and give his...students (whoa) the attention they deserved.

 

Victor chuckled softly as he gave Yuuri's thigh a squeeze. "And to think you almost overslept this morning."

 

"Well, you didn't wake me," Yuuri said with a pout.

 

"I tried to," Victor informed him with a grin. "Then you hit me with my pillow and stole it."

 

"Oh," Yuuri said with an apologetic wince, recalling that when he did wake up he was hugging an extra pillow. He'd managed to get up in time to give Alyosha a hug goodbye and see him and Victor off. 

 

Victor sat down properly and drew Yuuri towards him by the arm. Yuuri went willingly, meeting Victor's lazy smile with his own as he straddled his husband's lap, already guessing what he was planning. Getting ahead of him, Yuuri darted in to catch Victor's mouth in a long kiss.

 

Reaching up to curl a hand over Yuuri's nape, Victor trailed his tongue over Yuuri's bottom lip, making him shiver delightedly before opening his mouth a fraction. Yuuri melted into the kiss, clutching Victor's hair and inhaling sharply through his nose when Victor's hand squeezed his backside. When they came apart for breath, Yuuri kept his forehead pressed against Victor's, dazed by the sudden turn. Victor reached up to slide his glasses off, setting them aside and saying with a smile, "You know we have the place to ourselves now. There's no practice...and we haven't celebrated your win properly."

 

Despite the pleasant sensation of heat surging through his blood, Yuuri couldn't resist letting out a soft laugh and saying with a smirk, "I thought old age was supposed to tame your libido."

 

Then Victor gave his backside a firm swat that had him burying a yelp in Victor's hair. A warm blush covered his face, and his breathing turned shaky as he felt Victor's hands lovingly roam over his body, his voice a bit rough as he breathed against Yuuri's flushed neck, "With a gorgeous thing like you on my lap, I don't think that holds true." 

 

Smiling against Victor's hairline, Yuuri kissed his way down his neck, across his jawline, and back to his soft, already kiss-swollen lips. He held Victor's face in his hands, drinking in the utter adoration in those blue eyes. "We haven't done this in a while," he said quietly, stroking Victor's hair back.

 

"What?" Victor asked, darting up to kiss Yuuri's cheek as his hands roamed underneath Yuuri's shirt.

 

"Fooled around this early in the morning."

 

"Oh? You've forgotten that morning before Four Continents? I woke up to you kissing your way down my back."

 

"Right," Yuuri said, smile widening as he remembered. "Well, there wasn't the threat of a kid coming in and interrupting. Except for Yuri and Mila."

 

Victor huffed a laugh against his collarbone before kissing it. "There are no children around to interrupt. And I'm dying to touch you."

 

"You're already touching me."

 

"Such a mouthy little thing," Victor scolded as he started tugging Yuuri's shirt off, tossing it aside before kissing Yuuri's chest and sucking a nipple into his mouth.

 

Yuuri let out a shuddering moan, clutching Victor's head to his body and grinding down onto Victor's lap, feeling him growing hard. "Think you can put my mouth to better use?" he asked, smiling in pleasure as he tipped his head back and just  _felt_ and went boneless with submission at every squeeze to his backside.

 

"Why don't we go into the bedroom and find out?" Victor asked, pressing kisses all over Yuuri's skin.

 

"The bedroom?" Yuuri asked, his breathing hard as he tugged at Victor's shirt, suddenly desperate.

 

"A winner deserves to be made love to in a comfortable bed." 

 

Well that sounded reasonable. Incredibly so. Excitement racing through him, Yuuri pushed off of Victor's lap, hauling him to his feet and towards the bedroom, both of them smiling wildly before Victor shut the door and pulled Yuuri into his arms again for another kiss.

 

* * *

 

When they did have a day for practice, Yuuri was, predictably, a nervous wreck. 

 

He'd finally figured out what Mila could add to the routine, but wasn't sure about how to present it. He'd known Mila for years and had a friendly relationship with her. They'd shared a coach and a rink, so Yuuri didn't have any real reason to feel nervous about presenting his ideas to her.

 

He felt Victor wrap an arm around his waist, making their side-by-side walk a little difficult. "Your first day coaching. Excited, my love?"

 

"I shouldn't have had coffee," Yuuri said, jittery in the cold and due to the caffeine. He wanted to press closer to Victor, though he knew it'd probably end with them tripping over themselves. "Excited? I feel like I'm about to make a fool of myself. And I'm not even standing naked in an  _onsen_."

 

" _You_ were the one who ran in there,  _detka_ ," Victor reminded him lightly.

 

"And I mean I know Mila and Yurio, but now it feels like I'm coming face-to-face with them for the first time," Yuuri admitted, the back of his neck feeling hot. "I've looked up everything I could on coaching and I've paid attention to you and Yakov."

 

"And," Victor said. "You're a talented skater with an amazing career behind you. You know you can draw from that too."

 

Yuuri huffed with uncertainty, watching his breath cloud up in the air. "I know you learned as you coached me, and I  _want_ to learn-"

 

"You will learn," Victor insisted, bringing Yuuri closer and making their walk a bit clumsier. "Ask me  _anything_ you want, and I'll help you. That's what we're doing now. But you know there is one condition."

 

They were at the door to the rink, Yuuri looking up at his husband anxiously. "Yeah, there is."

 

"Don't defer to me." Victor reminded him, his tone firm like when he was leading Yuuri through a routine and watching him struggle with it. "You're my partner and I expect you to question me."

 

It wasn't the first time they'd talked about it, and Yuuri knew he had to make a conscious effort to remind himself to do it, but not to the point where he put Victor's authority into question. "...So we're basically parenting these two."

 

"Basically," Victor said with a laugh before darting in to kiss Yuuri's forehead. "Come on. We have young skaters to nurture and routines to plan. You have your ideas ready to show Mila?"

 

Yuuri nodded as they went in. "I just hope she takes them well. And we have to think about how to help Yurio out of this...slump." It didn't escape Yuuri's notice that Yurio was now the same age he'd been when everything fell apart for him career-wise at that GPF in Sochi. Whatever had affected him so profoundly in the last season, Yuuri didn't want to see it happen again.

 

Suddenly talking to Mila didn't seem so impossible.

 

When the young duo finally did arrive, Mila sprightly and Yurio surly, Victor gave them their usual welcome while Yuuri looked on nervously, though he was trying not to show it. When Yurio was in a particular mood he tended to lash out against any perceived weakness, and while he had improved in that respect as he got older, Yuuri didn't want to start off their new dynamic on such a sour note.

 

It was strange to know that he wasn't the one practicing. 

 

After an encouraging pat on the back from Victor, Yuuri took a breath and approached Mila as she tied her laces, bright red, curly strands of hair spilling over her face from out of a messy bun. 

 

Clearing his throat and feeling like a shy teenager, Yuuri asked in what he hoped was a casual tone, "Mila?"

 

She looked up at him with a smile. "Hey, Coach Yuuri! What's up?" 

 

Coach Yuuri. He really needed to get used to that. Smiling back at her and holding his notebook in one hand, Yuuri took a quick, steadying breath, and said, "I had a couple of ideas I wanted to run by you, if that's okay. They're mostly about your short."

 

Her blue eyes widened with surprise, and then she was nodding enthusiastically. "That's great! What did you have in mind?"

 

Yuuri could feel his nerves start to melt away in the face of her excitement, and sat down beside her on the bench to show her the page with the final version of his notes. "Well...You've got this rotation here, and I think..."

 

They spoke about it for a while, Yuuri watching Mila carefully and gauging her reactions to his input. She was receptive. She usually was. 

 

"I can't believe I didn't think of this," she said once they were finished, her eyes glowing with a familiar, excited light. 

 

Relieved, Yuuri could feel at least one of the knots in his stomach loosen up a little. 

 

If he had as much luck with Yurio, maybe his first season as a coach wouldn't be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next: the source of Yurio's troubles is revealed, along with a truth that rocks his world even more.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been two months since the Katsudon started coaching and Yuri sometimes still felt like the change had only just occurred.

 

Two months and Yuri still felt the hot sting of humiliation of his underwhelming season. And no, he wasn't so oblivious that he didn't see the irony as he compared his setbacks with the Katsudon's all those years ago, but acknowledging it had him wanting to kick something, hard.

 

This wasn't him. It wasn't supposed to happen to him, no matter what Victor said.

 

Yuri went through the inevitable cycle of blame, starting with himself and quickly ending with the person he thought was ultimately responsible for him not having his head in the game when it mattered most.

 

It was stupid. So completely stupid. It shouldn't have bothered him back then and it shouldn't have still been bothering him half a year later.

 

He skated loops across the ice, the memory weighing on his mind and settling unpleasantly in his belly as he forgot about the other people on the ice. Last he was aware, Victor and the Katsudon were chatting with Otabek's new coach, Ruslana. 

 

Guilt wormed through Yuri's guts at the thought of his boyfriend. Otabek knew and no one else did, and Yuri wanted to keep it that way as long as he could. At least he did months ago, before the spills that disqualified him and made him feel like a clumsy skater, and not like the skater who'd won gold his first year on the senior circuit.

 

Eventually he could feel Victor's gaze boring into him, and his frown just grew deeper and deeper as he kept skating. The balding idiot had been worried after his spills, and Yuri could sense his disappointment. He never thought  _that_ would sting. Then again he never thought he'd be sprawled on his ass on the ice at this point in time just because of  _personal_ issues, of all things.

 

He made the mistake of skating close to the barrier where Victor stood, having left behind his conversation with his husband and Ruslana. "Yurio," he called out lightly, and Yuri could easily imagine him sporting that dumb smile of his like it would actually inspire confidence.

 

Sighing, Yuri looked up at him with a flat glare. "What."

 

Victor leaned towards him, still smiling as if he weren't about to start interrogating Yuri, _again._  "I'm still genuinely curious about what's on your mind. Not just as your friend but as your very concerned coach. The coach who panicked during Nationals."

 

Right. Victor loved reminding him of that. "And I'm still not saying a thing," Yuri replied flatly, skating until he was in front of Victor and mustering up the most confident look he could. "I've got it under control," he added, smirking for effect.

 

"I don't believe you," Victor replied, iron hiding behind his pleasant, almost sing-song tone.

 

Well, Alyosha was certainly in for a  _fun_ adolescence with Victor as a parent. "Tough sh-"

 

"Language," his coach reminded him, still smiling rather disarmingly. That smile began to fade into something a bit more gentle and earnest, filled with a concern that made Yuri feel embarrassed. "This isn't a small thing. I can tell," Victor said. "Holding it in for so long hasn't seemed to help. You've been down for months, and losing at Nationals didn't help, I know. It might help to talk about it. To anyone. Does Otabek know?"

 

Yuri tried not to flinch, his glare growing sharper. "Yeah, he knows. And guess what? It hasn't helped." His boyfriend could try and empathize as hard as he could, but it wouldn't change anything about the whole fucked up situation. 

 

"So it's still an issue," Victor concluded, looking at Yuri thoughtfully.

 

"...Yeah. One fucking huge ass issue." Admitting that much didn't help either, and Yuri felt tempted to just divulge the entire thing, but dreading his coach's solutions. The issue was something they'd had in common for so long, but things had changed as Nadezhda Nikiforova came back into Victor's life as if they hadn't been disconnected for two fucking decades.

 

"That sounds...incredibly serious," Victor said quietly, still worried and silently urging Yuri to confide in him.

 

"Yeah," Yuri muttered, glancing towards Otabek, Ruslana, and Yuuri. The Katsudon had told him to trust Victor, that his coach would want him to do well and be alright. And it wasn't like Yuri's career had been unremarkable in all that time. This past season had felt like an absolute fall from grace, and his disappointment made Victor's seem pale in comparison. 

 

He stared at the other man, hating that the small part of him that wanted guidance wouldn't shut up, pushing the words up his throat until they were on the tip of his tongue. And then he finally blurted out, "My mom called me right after the Final."

 

His shoulders sagged as he said it, and the knot in his belly loosened a little as understanding filled Victor's face. "Yuri..." his coach exclaimed softly, the sympathy in his eyes stinging Yuri.

 

"Yeah. Big fucking bombshell," Yuri muttered, suddenly feeling exhausted even though he'd only just put his skates on minutes ago. He skated towards Victor in defeat, glaring at the ice as he stopped about a foot away from the older man, the truth pulled out of him like yarn off a sweater. "Grandpa gave her my number ages ago. He said he thought it'd help us...reconnect or something. I didn't want to disappoint the old man, so I answered." He raised his gaze to Victor's pensive one, his frown deep. "That's the part Beka knows. What he doesn't know is that she wanted us to meet up."

 

"And you said no," Victor surmised.

 

"No shit. I told her I'd think about it. I've been thinking about it for six fucking months."

 

Nodding slowly, Victor replied musingly, "Well, this explains everything."

 

Now-familiar anger rising up in him, Yuri pointed a finger at his coach and ordered, "Do  _not_ tell me that I should go and meet her!" 

 

Victor raised his hands in a placating motion, saying, "Yuri,  _Yuri!_ Calm down. I know exactly how you feel." He smiled at Yuri again, gentle and coaxing as he added, "You were young, and alone, wondering why your mother was so distant. So you coped with that with skating and your grandfather's love. As time went by you made do by yourself without the words you wanted to hear."

 

Yuri stared at him for a moment before muttering in irritation, "Get the fuck out of my head, Victor." 

 

"See? I hit the mark!" his coach declared victoriously. Sobering up a bit he kept smiling at Yuri, leaning towards him in engagement and adding, "You're still angry. Still hurt. For a long time I was too. Maybe just talking about it will help, or maybe you want to...try for some closure."

 

And that was what he'd been afraid of. Glowering at Victor, Yuri asked, "What good would that do?"

 

Victor gave him a faraway look, shadowed with remembered pain. "Before the wedding, I felt just like you did. I was angry and I decided I was definitely moving on. I had all the family I needed." His smile held that familiar, melancholy quality, and he added, "And when my father died, I wished that I could've spoken to him one last time. That wish has only gotten stronger now that I'm a father. But what can I do? It's part of the reason why my mother and I tried as hard as we could to rebuild our relationship."

 

"That doesn't mean the same thing's gonna happen to me and my mom," Yuri insisted, frowning at the ice again and resenting what he perceived as Victor's optimism.

 

But then Victor replied, "Of course it doesn't. The situations may be similar, but we're all very different individuals. I only wish I could've helped you sooner."

 

He sounded worried and a little disappointed, and that stung Yuri a bit, like he'd been caught misbehaving. "I thought I was handling it," he replied with chagrin. "Then I saw the scoring at Nationals and...God, it's all fucked," he groaned, remembering not even being able to raise his head after that and feeling Victor's shock radiating off of him.

 

"Think about it. Give her an answer sooner rather than later, whatever you decide," Victor told him encouragingly. "For now, we're going to work on building you up again, stronger and more powerful." 

 

And that probably meant stretches. Yuri already felt sore at the thought of it.

 

* * *

 

Yuri's stomachache worsened in the past two days, and it was at its worst as he stood at the park entrance.

 

His mother had suggested a restaurant when they spoke, but Yuri didn't want to share a meal with her. A meal meant more time spent with her, and he'd only agreed to talk to her. Nothing more.

 

He was still holding his helmet in his hands, and almost didn't notice Otabek reaching over to take it from him. He gave a tiny start, turning to look at the other man and trying to accept the encouragement in those eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this by yourself?" Otabek asked.

 

Yuri nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. I'll be fine. It'll...go however it goes. I'm not gonna blow up at her in public."

 

"And you know I'll be around if you need me. Just call or text-"

 

"Relax," Yuri told him, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "I'll be fine. It's just my..."

 

"Mother," Otabek finished for him, grimly. He understood, at least. "Let me know when you're finished, okay?" he asked as he straddled his motorcycle again.

 

Yuri nodded and waved him off, stomach cramping unpleasantly as he watched his boyfriend ride off.

 

Taking a deep breath, Yuri walked through the park gates, shivering as though it were winter. 

 

Two days and he still didn't know what he would say to her. How she'd react when she saw him.

 

If she hugged him he was almost sure he'd bolt. 

 

He walked a fair distance, glancing around with dread until he caught sight of hair much like his own, belonging to a woman sitting on a bench.

 

Looking at her he realized he would've recognized her anywhere. 

 

Her hair was the same yellow-gold as his, caught up in a bun on the top of her head. Her features looked gaunt and anxious, her blue eyes wide and watchful.

 

And restless. Yuri certainly remembered that.

 

And that restless gaze finally landed on him, eyes widening even more. "Yura!" she exclaimed, getting to her feet. Yuri stiffened, ice trickling down his belly at the thought of her getting closer. He swallowed and approached her, stopping a few feet away from her while she looked like she was trying to figure out how to approach him. "Look at you, so grown up!"

 

"Hey," Yuri muttered, resenting the way she already managed to treat him like he was still four and asking her to watch him practice.

 

Fortunately she stayed put, standing for a moment before sitting down on the bench again and patting the spot next to hers. Trying his absolute best not to groan in dismay, Yuri sat down as far away from her as he could, practically hanging off the edge of the bench. Her stare had him feeling uncomfortable in near-record time until she finally cleared her throat nervously and said with a too-wide smile, "I'm so glad you came, Yura. I know this came out of nowhere, but I needed to see you." She sighed and suddenly her eyes grew moist, and Yuri could already feel himself start to panic. "God, I just can't believe you're actually here." 

 

 _That makes both of us,_ Yuri thought bitterly, looking away from her. "So why did you want me to come?" he asked, his voice tight with irritation and discomfort. 

 

Her smile faded a little, and she started blinking rapidly. "...I needed to see you, Yura, and talk to you about...something important. I've wanted to tell you for months, but..." 

 

Yuri glared at the ground, suddenly defensive. Was he supposed to just come when she called, like an obedient dog? Forget all the times she'd kept him waiting until he finally lost patience and gave up on her?

 

"...The past years have been lonely, Yuri," she said quietly, her hand touching his shoulder. 

 

He flinched at her touch, frowning at her. "Which ones? The ones after you sent me to live with Grandpa?" he asked, nails digging into his palm and his whole body stiff.

 

She took her hand away like he'd burned her, and Yuri could only glower at her while she regained her composure. She swallowed visibly and clasped her hands on her lap, saying, "I did do that. And...maybe it was wrong of me to leave you that way. I wasn't prepared to be a mother, Yura. When your father was still alive, I thought that we could actually do it, but I wanted my career, my life."

 

She said it all like she was pleading for him to understand, and Yuri almost _could._ They wanted the same things. That was probably the worst part, and it felt like he was betraying himself. Gritting his teeth, Yuri exhaled roughly and said tightly, "This isn't exactly news to me. You didn't want to be a mom so you left me with your husband's dad. Hell, maybe I should thank you for it. Grandpa was always great, and still is. I had him, I had my coaches. It turned out that I didn't need you at all." He got up, fury coiling in his belly, and growled, "I've been torturing myself for months over this whole thing just so you could tell me all the same crap I've known my whole life."

 

She got up, frantically saying, "Yura, wait-"

 

He raised a hand to stop her. He wasn't going to be as forgiving as Victor, for God's sake. "Just stop. This was a waste of time. Do me a favor. Next time you want to talk, don't contact me in the middle the goddamn season."

 

He turned his back on her, determined to put an end to this nonsense and move on with his life. He wasn't going to keep letting this fuck his life up.

 

Then she said with desperation, "I had another baby, Yura!"

 

Yuri froze.

 

Did she actually say that?

 

His heart raced, painfully, as he realized that she had said it. Even so he turned around, voice sounding empty as he asked, "What?"

 

She nodded, her breathing shaky and her eyes wide. "It was years ago...Your grandpa doesn't knows about it." She kept blinking away her tears, looking like a single tear would make her shatter. "I had the baby and I kept him for a month, but...Yura, I was alone and overwhelmed. The father didn't want a baby, and I didn't know what to do. I had to give him up. I made sure he was safe, but...I don't think I was really meant to be a mom."

 

She finally admitted it. Yuri couldn't tell just how he was supposed to feel. Offended? Angry? No, he could only feel so much confusion because...he was someone's brother. And that someone...wasn't with his mom.

 

Exhaling raggedly, Yuri dragged a hand through his hair and asked her helplessly, "...You...you're telling me this  _now?"_ She'd had a baby, his brother, and he'd had no clue. He didn't know when it had happened or what he was doing when it happened...

 

His mother was staring at him, still so nervous while his world turned on its head. "I'm not proud of myself, Yura. You at least deserved to know, and-"

 

Yuri scoffed, furious, and she shut up. 

 

How could she? How  _could_ she?

 

She kept it from him, she hid the truth, she gave his brother away when he or his grandpa could've taken care of him.

 

And Yuri never got to meet him. 

 

He felt dizzy as he realized it. He had a brother. He was someone's big brother, and...

 

It was all so fucked up, and he didn't want to cry what was it about anger that made people want to cry?!

 

Did she even want him to know? Was she planning a brand new life with the kid, one that neatly cut Yuri out? 

 

He couldn't look at her, fearing he'd see the answer on her face.

 

His nails dug into his palms, and he flinched again when she held something out to him, right beneath his gaze."...Those are all the pictures I have of him," she explained, voice shaky and afraid. "His eyes were as big as yours."

 

The fondness in her voice could have fooled anyone.

 

Yuri should've walked away. He still had time but he was still so confused and curious. He was someone's brother. He took the photos from her,  his hand trembling as he tried to focus on the baby-shaped blob on the photo, clad only in a diaper. His brain felt like it was far away, disconnected and uncooperative. Swallowing, Yuri stared at the photo of his...his brother, and asked, "What's his name?"

 

"I named him Alexei. He...He was in the Marovski Home. He'd be six years old now. He had a birthday a few weeks ago, on the fourth." 

 

Alexei.

 

Yuri nearly dropped the photo.

 

Then his heart gave another painful pang against his chest as he searched for...

 

 _Fuck,_ there it was. Yuri breathed hard, staring at the baby's leg, all while trying to reason with himself because this  _wasn't_ happening, not to him. "...What's that on his leg?" he forced himself to ask, remembering the first time he saw it when Victor was teaching his kid how to tie his shoes.

 

His mother peered at the photo, standing _too close._  "A birthmark. I always thought it looked like a cat."

 

Yuri could almost feel himself caving in, his heart going faster still as his mind raced to catch up, to accept this and everything else his mother told him.

 

He had a brother.

 

Six years old. 

 

Named Alexei.

 

And because Victor loved to share everything about what went on in his and the piggy's life, Yuri knew where Alyosha had lived before his adoption.

 

And Yuri had seen that birthmark in almost that same spot on the same leg.

 

"I have to go," he said suddenly, voice worn like a rag.

 

"What?" his mother asked, surprised.

 

He handed her back all but one of the photos and began to walk away, needing to run. "I'll call you! I just...I...Can I keep this one?"

 

"Of course you can, but-"

 

He pocketed it and ran, not knowing where he wanted to go, and leaving his mother behind.

 

The photo felt like a weight in his pocket, and he kept repeating the conversation in his head as his lungs and chest burned and his heart ached for Otabek, his grandpa.

 

Wasn't he supposed to know? Had he felt something particularly special when he met the kid for the first time?

 

Alyosha was just...some kid. A kid that Yuuri and Victor adopted. Small, shy, and quiet. 

 

Yuri never noticed anything. Alyosha had simply just been a kid like any other.

 

He came to a stop when he arrived at the gates, panting for breath and taking the photo out. 

 

His brother. Victor and Yuuri's kid.

 

Yuri took his phone out, swallowed thickly, and pulled up his photo gallery to find the most recent image he had of the kid.

 

The eyes. Blue eyes. Dark hair that would lighten to brown. He kept comparing the two images and tried wrapping his head around it properly, once and for all.

 

Yuuri had sent him that photo

 

He couldn't focus right, couldn't even breathe without shaking. He stared at his phone, wrestling with the storm inside him, and finally texted Otabek.

 

His boyfriend got there in less than three minutes, and as soon as he got off his motorcycle and took his helmet off he was in front of Yuri, looking at him with concern. "Yura? What happened? Are you okay?"

 

"I don't fucking know," Yuri answered honestly, oblivious to the alarm on Otabek's face as he kept staring at his phone, thinking that...they needed to know.

 

It took him a moment to finally dial Victor's number, dread crawling up his throat as he brought the phone to his ear and tried to figure out how the fuck he was going to tell his coaches that they were raising his brother.

 

" _Hello? Yuri?"_

 

He stopped breathing. It was Alyosha's voice. "H-hey, kid. Where are your dads?" he asked, trying not to sound terrified.

 

Thankfully the kid didn't notice, and replied, "Papa's _loading the laundry and Tou-san's talking to Aunt Mari. Do you wanna talk to them?"_

 

"Uh, just...Just let them know I'm coming over with Beka."

 

_"Okay! I'll tell them! Say hi to Beka!"_

 

"See you, kid." He hung up, still full of dread and reconcile himself with the fact that he'd just spoken to his brother.

 

Otabek appeared in front of him, and asked urgently, "Yura,  _what_ is going on?"

 

"She told me I've got a brother," Yuri replied in a mumble, stiffly placing the photo in Otabek's hand. "That's his picture."

 

Shock flooded Otabek's face as his gaze moved from Yuri to the photo. "Wow...Yuri, this is...This is a lot." He looked up at Yuri gaze full of sympathy, and asked, "Are you okay? What do you need?"

 

"I need to fucking talk to Victor and Yuuri!" he exclaimed, frantic and anxious to leave, to get away from the damm park.

 

"Yeah. Okay, that's probably a good idea," Otabek agreed.

 

"You don't get it!" Yuri shouted, making Otabek look at him with surprise. "Doesn't he look familiar?"

 

"...He looks like a baby."

 

"Yeah? Well he's six years old now. His birthday was on the fourth, and his name's Alexei," he summarized pointedly.

 

He watched that information sink in until realization dawned on Otabek's face, and he looked absolutely incredulous. "...No. No, Yura, that's...Shit..."

 

"Yeah. Shit," Yuri agreed, wanting to bust out of his skin.

 

"Wait, so...are you telling Yuuri and Victor?" Otabek asked, uncertain. 

 

Yuri nodded, shaken. "I think I have to. I...I don't want  _her_ to have him back. He's fine just where he is. He's fucking luckiest kid in the world. It's just..." His throat ached and he hated what it meant. "This whole time, and I didn't have a fucking clue that he was my brother. How does that even happen?! How did  _those_ two manage to adopt  _that_ kid in particular?! It's...Beka, I feel like I'm losing my mind!"

 

"Okay. Okay, Yura," Otabek murmured soothingly, placing steadying hands on Yuri's shoulders and dragging them down his arms. Then he grabbed Yuri's helmet and asked, "Can you ride?"

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I can," Yuri answered, desperate for speed, for the warmth of holding tight to Otabek. He took the helmet and fastened it, feeling nauseous and hoping he could actually tell those two what he'd learned.

 

Maybe by then he'd be used the idea that his brother had somehow found his way into Yuri's life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on that reveal for a year.
> 
> Tiny hints throughout the series that these two were brothers:
> 
> "Not Alyosha, though. That kid always managed to look alert and cagey. He kind of reminded Yuri of himself as a kid, but without the itch to fight everyone that wasn't his grandpa. And Alyosha had definitely looked cagey all week." - _if I don't faint I'll be fine"_
> 
> ""Only babies tattle," Alyosha said with a slight frown, briefly reminding Yuuri of Yurio." - _and a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be_
> 
> "And Alyosha said that he definitely would, eyes flashing in that same, determined way as Yurio." - _to shed your weary load_


	4. Chapter 4

Legs numb from the ride and the horrible nerves coursing through Yuri, he had to hold on to Otabek's arm to steady himself.

 

"Yuri?" Otabek asked in soft tones. "Is there something I can do?"

 

Yuri said nothing for a few moments as they walked towards Victor's building, dread building up in his stomach. "...Stay with the kid, I guess?" he finally replied, heart giving a hard pound at the thought of him. That was his brother. He was someone's  _brother_. "...How the fuck am I gonna face him?" he asked, quiet helplessness in his voice. "He's...he's not just their kid anymore, he's my fucking brother...!"

 

Otabek drew him to a stop, turning him so they were facing each other and placing his warm hands on either side of Yuri's face, soothingly stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. "...Maybe this can wait," he suggested, his worry plain on his face. "You just found out less than an hour ago, and maybe you need time to let it settle in before you face him again."

 

Yuri was tempted to listen, to heed his boyfriend's advice and let him take them both home so he could deal with the news and get used to the idea that he'd had a little brother around for the past two years. Alyosha had been so shy when they met, practically hiding behind Yuuri and Victor before getting used to him and Mila. It took time before that shyness went away, even after months of Yuri looking after him alone whenever Victor and Yuuri needed a hand.

 

Shaking his head, Yuri said, "...I don't want to keep this from them."

 

"Okay," Otabek said. "Whatever you want, Yura."

 

Despite the reassurance, the walk to the apartment was long and excruciating, and Yuri felt extremely vulnerable, despite the fact that Victor and Yuuri were people he'd  _trusted_ for so many years. He felt like an angry fifteen year old again, ready to burst at any provocation, but this time he'd burst into a million pieces because this felt like more than anger. It was helplessness. A loss of control, like...people keeping things from him, important things, things that had to do with his own place in the world, his essential relationships.

 

He led the way to the apartment, holding on to Otabek like his life depended on it and dreading the encounter with both of his coaches and their kid. Yuri's brother. New brother. Whatever he was now.

 

When they were finally standing in front of the door, Yuri felt completely unprepared, and he was clutching Otabek's hand as hard as he could. What was he even  _supposed_ to say? This wasn't exactly the sort of thing Victor and Yuuri would take lying down. Not without a ton of tears and anxiety...

 

When he rang the bell he wanted to run. To just bolt down the stairs and find his grandpa and unload everything. To really digest the whole idea of having a brother, that his mother had kept it from him, that there was some prick out there coward enough to not step up when it mattered.

 

He held on to Otabek, clutching his hand hard and trying not to panic when the door opened and Yuuri stood on the other side, looking surprised when he saw both of them there. "Hey, guys," he greeted, smiling at them. "Alyosha told us you were heading over here. Is everything okay?" His smile faded when he caught sight of Yuri's face, however it looked. 

 

"I...I need to talk to you and Victor," he managed to say, his throat tight as he avoided the other's gaze.

 

Smile leaving his face completely, Yuuri gave a single nod. "Okay. Okay, come in, both of you."

 

They did, Yuri holding on to Otabek's hand as tight as he could, as clammy as his was. 

 

And then before Yuri could react, Alyosha was barreling towards him, calling excitedly, "Yura!" Then he practically wrapped himself around Yuri's legs, squeezing hard.

 

Grabbing Otabek's arm to not lose his balance, Yuri greeted weakly, "Hey, kid." He couldn't quite focus on Alyosha's face, just barely catching the way his face scrunched up the same as Yuri's when he shut his eyes like that.

 

He turned and gave Otabek a helpless look, and his boyfriend cleared his throat and wore his best smile when he knelt down to Alyosha's level and said, "Hey, Alyosha. Want to go sit on my motorcycle for a bit?"

 

Alyosha's eyes went wide as he let go of Yuri's legs, and he looked up at Yuuri beseechingly. "Can I?!"

 

Meeting both Yuri's and Otabek's gazes, Yuuri bit his lip before agreeing with another nod. "Yeah, as long as you're careful," he told Alyosha with a quick ruffle of his brown hair.

 

"I will, I promise!" And a moment later he was already out the door. Otabek gave Yuri a final look before following the boy.

 

With a ragged exhale, Yuri shut the door behind him, looking at his feet as he tried not to shake. This was impossible, completely impossible. He tensed up when Yuuri asked with worry in his voice, "Yuri, what's wrong?"

 

Yuri didn't know if his voice would even cooperate, practically croaking when he asked, "Where's Victor?"

 

He then heard his coach's voice coming from down the hall that led to the bedrooms, "I'm right here! I was just making the bed." Yuri looked up towards him, and Victor's wide smile disappeared as soon as he caught the look on Yuri's face. "Yura, what is it?" he asked in that same tone.

 

Victor couldn't possibly have imagined this when he encouraged Yuri to reach out to his mother. It was so unlikely he never would have expected that the woman was his son's biological mother. Taking a breath and unclenching his fists, Yuri looked at him and said, "I talked to my mom."

 

Surprise filled Victor and Yuuri's faces at that. "Okay. Okay, how did it go?" Victor asked, leading Yuri to the couch.

 

Sitting down and trying to keep the tension off of himself, Yuri ran his fingers through his hair and struggled to find the words to even begin to explain everything, the enormity of it building up in his chest. "She...She told me something massive, and it has to do with you guys."

 

Yuuri sat down next to him, brow wrinkled in a concerned frown. "We're listening."

 

For all they knew Yuri could have been telling them anything. Anything other than the truth, the impossible truth that was making Yuri's head spin as he tried to reconcile with it. Hands bunched up on his knees, Yuri stared at the floor and wished he didn't feel so sick and clammy before he finally blurted out. "Alyosha's my brother."

 

His words were met with an awful silence.

 

Yuri looked up at them in desperation, stomach giving a lurch at the shock on their faces. The words left him in a breathless rush as he clarified, "My half-brother. My mom had him on Alyosha's birthday. She left him in the same home. She named him Alexei." His hand shook when he reached for the photo in his jacket pocket, handing it to a stunned Yuuri. "This is him. He's got the same birthmark Alyosha has on his ankle, see?"

 

He pointed it out with his thumb, watching realization dawn on Yuuri's face as he indeed recognized the familiar birthmark on the baby's pudgy ankle. He wordlessly handed it to Victor, who looked so incredulous as he stared at the photo like he couldn't quite register what he was seeing. A moment passed and then recognition appeared in his blue eyes, and Yuri swore his hand shook.

 

Yuuri shook his head, saying haltingly, "Wait... _Wait,_ so...Your mother is..."

 

"His biological mom, yeah." His throat felt awful, like he'd been crying or wanted to cry, which was frustrating because he wasn't a kid anymore. He'd been as used to being on his own as Victor was years ago, before Yuuri appeared and Victor's mom decided to come back into his life. Their relationship looked so simple, and uniquely affectionate. Yuri hated feeling envious of it. Envying Victor or Yuuri anything at this point in their lives was...exhausting.

 

And right now, Yuri didn't envy them this entire situation.

 

Shaking his head slowly, Victor kept gazing at the photograph. "God...Oh, God, this is..." He finally looked up at Yuri, worry clouding his gaze. "Why did she tell you?"

 

Yuri could only shrug. "She thought I should know I had a brother," he replied quietly, knowing he sounded so uncertain.

 

He could hear Yuuri swallow before he started to ask, "Did you tell her that he's-"

 

"No," Yuri quickly replied. The thought never even crossed his mind. "No, she...she might not even know he got adopted. I didn't ask, I left right after she gave me that." He glanced at the photo, his stomach still clenching painfully. "And he's got my mom's eyes." The same light blue.

 

He felt their eyes on him and felt close to exposed. It was different than years ago, when they were both just his rinkmates, before they were in charge of coaching and advising him. "Yuri, how are you?" Yuuri asked softly. "This is...a lot to take in."

 

His eyes stung. He blinked furiously, not wanting to give in to the ache in his throat. "...Why wouldn't she tell me?" he asked tightly, nails digging into his palms.

 

"I don't know, Yurio," he heard Yuuri reply. "Maybe she was...afraid of approaching you. Of how you'd react. I can't say for sure. But you did deserve to know."

 

Yuri's voice caught in a wretched sob, one he tried to choke down before he could give in to it. He covered his eyes with his hand as he gritted his teeth, feeling both men's sympathetic gazes. 

 

Then Victor asked gently, "Do you want Alyosha to know about this, Yuri?"

 

Swallowing thickly, Yuri replied shakily, "...I don't know." How would the kid even react to finding out about this whole mess? Yuri's short, bitter laugh was shakier still before he added, "My dad died, my mom left, and it was just me and grandpa. I mean...Alyosha wasn't even born until I was seventeen. I'm not used to...whatever this is." He peered up at them, his eyes still stinging. "You'd be...okay with telling him?" 

 

"Of course we would," Victor said with a smile. "We're not about to keep you away from him, Yura."

 

Unexpected relief soothed Yuri a little bit. Had that been his fear? Losing even more relationships? 

 

Losing his brother again?

 

Could they sense his gratitude? 

 

Even so, Yuri was still so uncertain about what to do, how to handle this. He couldn't just blurt it out to Alyosha.

 

As if reading his thoughts, Yuuri remarked. "It's not as if Alyosha hasn't had questions about his...biological family." His smile was mildly sheepish as he added, "We kind of took it hard the first time Alyosha asked if we knew anything about his parents."

 

"We were caught off-guard! I thought he hated us," Victor said with a sheepish look of his own.

 

"But we calmed down and realized it was a fair question," Yuuri went on. "He was always going to have questions and...it was up to us to be prepared for them. We know he loves us, but we know he's got a million questions. This...would answer a lot of them."

 

Questions. Endless questions. Why did parents do this? Any of it? And somehow he couldn't even blame his mother for all of it. It was almost two years since Alyosha appeared, and in all those moments Yuri never sensed a thing. "You're supposed to  _know_ these things, right?!" he asked, voice ragged with frustrated tears. "Why didn't I know that first time you two brought him around!?"

 

"Yuri, it doesn't work that way," Yuuri explained patiently, still looking worried. "Two people could cross a street and never know they were related unless someone told them. You kind of have to adjust the way you see the world. Particularly Alyosha." His gaze was still sympathetic, something that might have irritated Yuri if he were younger.

 

"You're probably in shock. This was a lot to hear," Victor said, getting up from his armchair to sit on Yuri's other side and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm surprised you came to us right away."

 

Shaking his head tiredly, Yuri gave a sniffle and admitted, "I couldn't keep it from you guys. God, I haven't even told Grandpa yet."

 

"Tell him as soon as possible, Yura," Victor urged. "He wouldn't want to let you cope with all of this by yourself." 

 

"There's more," Yuri murmured, tensing up again. "Alyosha's...his biological dad didn't want anything to do with him or my mom after she told him. What if he finds out and changes his mind?" It was an uncomfortable thought, one he didn't want to see occur in real life.

 

He heard Yuuri suck in a sharp breath, but Victor wasted no time in saying firmly, "He's our son. We're his fathers. Legally." He reached across Yuri to squeeze his husband's hand, his mouth a firm line. "Even if he could fight, he'll obviously lose. If that man had wanted to be a father he would've stayed. He would have been responsible and not left your mother to fend for herself. But she made the best choice she could for herself and her baby after trying the best she could." 

 

Yuri knew he'd been thinking about that. She'd tried. Twice. Once by herself. It was hard to write her off as selfish after that. And after all, Yuri had had love in his life, and stability thanks to his grandpa. 

 

He'd needed her. Alyosha had too. They'd needed their fathers. But they were fine. Everyone around them had done the best they could. Yuri had his grandpa, and loved him immensely. Alyosha worshiped his dads, and was probably the happiest kid in existence after a rough start.

 

"...Maybe if my dad hadn't died, everything would've been different," Yuri murmured, thinking of the man he'd never known. "Maybe if Alyosha's dad had stuck she probably would've told me about him from the start." Would he have reacted with surprise? Envy? Anger? He couldn't really decide. He just felt so tired and overwhelmed.

 

Looking concerned by Yuri's words, Yuuri told him, "We're here for you."

 

The gratitude was bone-deep, and Yuri wanted to cry. Biting his lip, he replied with a tight laugh, "Come on. You don't have to deal with me acting like a crybaby. It's stupid."

 

"It's not stupid," Victor reassured him, squeezing his shoulder again.

 

Emotion choked him up, and he knew if he stayed he'd break down and he _couldn't_. Even if he wanted to. He got to his feet, still feeling unsteady. "I've got to go. I'll send the kid back up with Beka," he muttered, walking away from his coaches.

 

"Yuri, wait," Yuuri called after him. "Maybe you shouldn't leave like this."

 

Refusing to look back at either of them, Yuri said, "I'll be fine."

 

They had to believe it. And so did he.

 

* * *

  

As soon as Yuri disappeared, Yuuri felt doubt.

 

Doubt that Yuri was actually fine.

 

Doubt that life would just go on as usual, as if they never found out who Alyosha's mother really was and that he was Yuri's little brother.

 

Realizing that he was still holding the photo Yuri had brought, Yuuri stared down at it, at the image of his son as a baby.

 

He felt anxious, and was uncertain of its source. Was it the news? The change it brought with it? That same change they were telling Yuri to grow used to?

 

Was it because they needed to figure out how to tell Alyosha that he'd had a brother close to him this entire time?

 

Or that fear that they could lose him, even as legally impossible as it was?

 

 _It won't happen._ Victor had promised. Yuuri could promise that too.

 

"Yuuri?" he heard Victor ask before his arms wrapped around Yuuri with soothing warmth. "What do you need?"

 

Taking a shaky breath, Yuuri reached up to squeeze Victor's wrist, gazing at the photo of the boy they loved. "Just...tell me it's all going to be okay," he begged quietly, his eyes stinging. He wanted their family to be okay. He wanted Alyosha and Yuri to be okay.

 

"It will be. And not just because I say so," Victor whispered into his ear before kissing it.

 

Yuuri sighed and brought Victor's hand up to his lips to press his own kiss to it. "...Small world," he remarked softly.

 

"The smallest," his husband said just as quietly.

 

They heard noise from outside the apartment before Alyosha walked in, and Yuuri drank in the sight of him like he had when they first saw him. Looking confused, Alyosha asked "Why'd Yura and Beka leave? They just got here!"

 

Tucking the photo in his pocket, Yuuri hastily replied, "He's just got a few things to deal with. Want to help us get started with dinner?"

 

"Okay," Alyosha answered, still looking a little disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more with yurio, grandpa, and yurio's mother coming up!


	5. Chapter 5

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Is everything okay? You're not at practice.**

**Are you running late?**

 

**YURI:**

**No**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Okay**

**So**

**Where are you???**

 

**YURI:**

**Moscow**

**Beka's with me**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**WHAT????**

**Is your grandpa okay??**

 

**YURI:**

**wtf of course he is!!**

**you two are the ones who told me to talk to him!!**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**You could've warned us!**

 

**YURI:**

**Sorry. Sleep-deprivation is a bitch.**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Are you okay? You seemed upset when you left yesterday.**

**We never talked about when we'd tell Alyosha about you two.**

 

**YURI:**

**I don't know what I want to do**

**You guys decide**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**This affects you too**

**There's things we can't explain to him that maybe you could.**

 

**YURI:**

**like what???**

**Our mom left us because she wasn't cut out for being a mom and our dads either died or ran off**

**You two really want him hearing THAT cheery version?**

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Just think about it Yuri.**

**Please**

**And call us if you need something**

**Gonna go and keep Victor from chasing after you**

 

**YURI:**

**WHAT THE FUCK**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**I don't blame him. We were worried.**

**Expect a talking to the next time we see you.**

**And don't flip off the phone screen. I'm your coach.**

 

**YURI:**

**STOP THAT**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Can't help it. You do it every time now that you've realized throwing your phone isn't exactly mature.**

**Have a safe trip.**

 

* * *

 

Whatever hot liquid his grandfather had served them sat untouched and cold on the table set between Yuri and the old man.

 

Otabek sat beside Yuri, silent with his eyes downcast as they both observed Nikolai, his face pale and drawn, suddenly appearing so much older. 

 

"I never knew anything. Elena never said a word," Nikolai confessed quietly, running a hand over his lined face. "When my son died I promised him I'd take care of his wife and son. I took care of you, but...along the way I failed her."

 

Hearing him blame himself made Yuri want to throw something. His grandpa wasn't the one who'd abandoned his kid like Alyosha's father had. "You didn't... _Deda_ , this wasn't your fault," Yuri gritted out, his stomach aching from anger and desperation. How much more could his grandpa think to take on? True, he would've taken responsibility for Alyosha if Yuri's mother had asked, but Yuri didn't want to see him take blame for this.

 

Nikolai raised his gaze, green eyes filled with pain and sympathy. Whatever else Yuri may have missed in his life, he could always count on his grandpa to be on his side. The old man sighed heavily and said softly, "I wanted you to have her back, but I didn't think she'd say something like this." He shook his head, appearing regretful, and once again Yuri wanted to keep reassuring him that none of this was his fault. Then Nikolai asked, "And you told your coaches?"

 

"Yesterday," Yuri replied. Funny how the events of the day before seemed so...unreal. He'd spoken to his mother. Had his world turned upside-down and in turn done the same to Yuuri and Victor's world.

 

"And...will they tell him?" his grandfather asked.

 

God, was Yuri even prepared to change Alyosha's world like that? For all the questions the kid may have had about where he'd come from, what good would those answers do? "...I don't know," he answered truthfully, reaching for Otabek's hand and squeezing it to try and ground himself as his throat grew tight. "...I think they want to but the Katsudon keeps asking me what I think, and...he's not my kid."

 

"No. But he's your brother. And he cares about you," his grandfather said firmly, looking right at Yuri. "You're family. Telling him has everything to do with you."

 

"It's not that easy."

 

"Why?"

 

He could feel both of them staring at him, and Yuri didn't know  _how_ to answer. It really wasn't as simple as everyone was fucking making it seem. Would telling Alyosha the truth just suddenly make them an instant family? Yuri would be the perfect older brother who'd know what to say to the kid? He shook his head and took his hand away from Otabek's feeling like he wanted to curl into himself until he could figure this out.

 

"He's okay," he managed, looking away from Otabek and Nikolai. "Whatever questions he's got about...Mom or...He's fine. He's the luckiest kid in the world because HIS parents love him and they love every single thing he does and says..." He trailed off, covering his face with his hands and once again feeling like he was going to cry. That was more, way more than he'd actually wanted to say, and now it was all out there. "What would I even say?"

 

"Whatever feels right, Yura," Otabek urged, his dark eyes boring into Yuri like he wanted to figure out what was going on in his head. It had to be some kind of habit by now, a thought that had Yuri feeling self-conscious. For all that he wanted Otabek to understand him he hated being an open book. His own feelings seemed so petty in this entire situation, and he never wanted to be coddled. Not by anyone.

 

Shrugging uncomfortably he asked uncertainly, "Should I even tell Mom that...that he's fine?" That definitely didn't feel like it was something he could decide on his own. He wasn't even sure if Victor and Yuuri wanted her to know.

 

Nikolai sighed thoughtfully and after a moment replied as gently as possible, "I think...Elena would like to know that he's in the best possible hands. She would want to know that he's happy."

 

 _Did she want to know if I was happy?_ Yuri thought, biting his lip.  _If I missed her?_ At least Alyosha never had time to miss her or his dad. No, he'd...spent four years of his life among other kids like him, kids without a place, with parents who either didn't care or wanted them to have better in hopes of someone finding them and wanting them the way they needed. "So why ruin that?" he asked.

 

He could feel both Otabek and his grandpa looking at him, trying to discern his words and everything else about him, sitting quietly and locking away everything else he wanted to say. "Why do you think you'd ruin it, Yura?" his grandpa asked.

 

Yuri shrugged again, his eyes burning. "Because he's happy. For all he knows right now he's got two dads who want him in their lives." 

 

He wasn't jealous. He wasn't. Not of a boy who'd looked happy to have ended up with parents like Yuuri and Victor, who hadn't had anyone until he was four years old. Not even an attentive grandfather who took over all responsibility for a lonely boy who kept wondering where his mother was.

 

Even so, his grandfather quietly said, "Yuratchka..."

 

It was too much, to have both of them looming over him like he was about to break into little pieces when it wasn't so. He could keep himself in one piece. He absolutely had to. He wasn't a child anymore.

 

He got to his feet, suddenly realizing how foolish this entire trip seemed. He was no child to seek his grandfather's consolation. He got to his feet, fighting against the yearning to stay, to scream and curl up against the anger and ache in his heart. "I've got to go. I've got to think," he said, his voice tight as he started to make his way out of his grandfather's home, no matter how much he wanted to stay and have someone figure this out for him.

 

Otabek followed him, though hesitantly, and his grandfather followed them, urgency in his voice as he said, "Maybe you should stay the night. Let your coaches know, and-"

 

"It's fine,  _Deda,_ " Yuri interrupted, placing a hand on the wall to steady himself and convince himself that he needed to step away and figure things out for himself, to sort out his tumultuous thoughts and figure everything out. "I'll be okay," he said, trying to convince them both and himself.

 

Whether or not it actually worked, his grandfather and Otabek seemed to hover over him, Yuri sensing the equally worried looks on their faces as he avoided their equally watchful gazes, because he didn't want to be an open book in that moment. Apparently giving up for the moment, Nikolai reached out to place a heavy hand on Yuri's shoulder quietly saying, "Call me more often, boy."

 

He called almost everyday. Would that fix...this  _thing_ Yuri was feeling?

 

It was a question Yuri kept asking himself as they made their way back to St. Petersburg after a trip of only a few hours, one that began to feel futile.

 

* * *

 

" _Hello? Yura?"_

 

Why was he calling? This was a terrible idea, one he hadn't run by Yuuri or Victor, or even Otabek. Yuri never called his mother so spontaneously, but...This was the second time he had, after that first call that led to him learning the unexpected truth about Alyosha. Even so, something had him holding the phone to his ear and trying to figure out what he even _wanted_ to say. He thought the years would've made this easier. All the hours of waiting and thinking..."Hey, Mom."

 

" _I wondered if you'd call! I didn't want to bother you. Are you...okay? You seemed upset when you left."_

 

He hadn't expected her to ask that. He covered his face, kneading at his forehead with his fingers and drawing his knees up to his chest. He was on the couch, Potya curled up on the other end and Otabek in the bedroom, turning in earlier than usual. Maybe worn out from the unexpected trip to Moscow. "Yeah, it's just...It was a lot to hear," he admitted, yet again feeling exposed, and to the person he least wanted to be.

 

_"I know. I'm sorry, Yura...But you deserved to know."_

 

"I'm okay. I talked to  _Deda_ , and..." He almost told her what he knew. Of all the days spent watching Alyosha grow up, happy and secure after his adoption. He inhaled deeply and exhaled long, his throat aching as he added, "I'm okay."

 

_"You don't sound okay, Yura."_

 

"Don't worry about me, okay? Bye." He hung up without waiting for her to reply, silencing his phone almost immediately.

 

It was...uncanny how everyone in his life thought that confessing the truth to Alyosha would immediately result in them having some manner of family reunion, like they would suddenly be the perfect pair of brothers, and Yuri would know what to say to the boy.

 

He wanted sleep, security. But even the promise of Otabek's arms around him couldn't settle his restless mind.

 

He needed a drink. Several. Something to feel anything other than...whatever this was.

 

Sighing heavily, Yuri typed out a brief text for Otabek, knowing he wouldn't wake up with the notification, and put on his shoes and a jacket.

 

His throat had been tight for hours with he didn't know what. Something had to get rid of it. Anything but answering to every worried gaze around him.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**OTABEK:**

**Stop hanging up on me.**

**Yuri where are you????**

**PLEASE ANSWER MY CALLS**

 

**YURI:**

**I told you**

**Out**

 

**OTABEK:**

**What??**

 

**YURI:**

**Stop calling I'm okay**

 

**OTABEK:**

**It's 2 in the morning! Where the hell are you?!**

 

**YURI:**

**A bar**

**Needed a drink. Didn't want to bother you.**

 

 

 

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Yuri where are you?**

 

**YURI:**

**what the fuck**

 

**YURI:**

**did beka call you?????**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**He didn't know where you were and called us.**

 

**YURI:**

**I'M OKAY**

**I TOLD HIM I'M OKAY**

**I'M NOT DRIVING OR ANYTHING**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**Just stay put. Please.**

 

**YURI:**

**TELL HIM TO STOP CALLING**

 

**COACH KATSUDON:**

**I'm going to go get Otabek and we'll meet up with you.**

**Please just stay where you are okay?**

 

**YURI:**

**just stop**

 

 

 

 

**OTABEK:**

**Please answer me**

**YURI**

**PICK UP THE PHONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy two days after your birthday, Coach Katsudon!!!!
> 
> next chapter will be longer. promise.


	6. Chapter 6

The phone woke Yuuri up.

 

And not Yuuri's phone. No, that was Victor's ringtone, loud and tinny, that had Yuuri groaning and nudging Victor with his elbow as he mumbled into his pillow, "Your phone."

 

He only got yet another soft snore in reply before Victor turned around to lay on his side, facing Yuuri and away from the still-ringing phone, nose scrunched up in unconscious determination. 

 

Wonderful.

 

Well, Yuuri supposed he couldn't blame Victor for being so exhausted. After worrying about both Alyosha and Yurio over the past couple of days (and easing away most of the resulting tension with a couple of...decidedly private and intimate hours in their bedroom), they both needed a good night's sleep.

 

And Yuuri's had been unceremoniously interrupted. With that in mind, he raised his upper half with a pointedly loud groan and draped himself over Victor to reach for his phone, connected to its charger. 

 

Rubbing his eyes as he lay on Victor, Yuuri was surprised to see that it was Otabek. 

 

It was two in the morning. Something had to be wrong. They'd returned safely from Moscow, Yuri having sent a too-brief text hours ago. It had Yuuri wanting to ask a lot of questions, but he'd decided it was best to give the boy space.

 

Sitting up and clearing his throat, Yuuri answered the call. "Hello? Otabek?"

 

_"Yuuri? Oh, thank God. Has Yura been over there? Has he called you?"_

 

Yuuri's heart sank at the words and the desperation in Otabek's voice. "No. Not since he told me you guys were in Moscow. Why? Did something happen?"

 

He heard a sharp exhale from the other end before Otabek replied frantically,  _"I woke up a little while ago and I couldn't find him. There was only this text saying that he was going out to...to clear his head, but that was almost three hours ago. He's not answering my calls, and he just told me he was at a bar..."_

 

Yuuri covered his eyes with a hand, sighing heavily as worry clutched his heart. Yuri was in no state to go out to a bar. He was overwhelmed and shocked, enough that he skipped practice to talk to his grandfather in person. Keeping a tight rein on his anxiety, Yuuri replied, "Okay. Okay, try to calm down, Otabek...Give me a second to wake Victor up." He turned to start shaking his husband by the shoulder, urgently calling, "Victor? Victor! Wake up!"

 

A frown and a grunt later, Victor was awake and blinking slowly, looking up at Yuuri in confusion before asking hoarsely, "What's the matter?" 

 

"It's Yuri. Otabek says he went to a bar a couple of hours ago. He can't find him."

 

"What?!" Victor exclaimed, wide awake as he reached for his own glasses and sat up to look at Yuuri. "Which bar? Did he drive?"

 

"I don't know yet," Yuuri said, grabbing his own phone and glasses. "Otabek, I'm going to hang up and try to get a hold of Yurio on my phone, okay? I'll call you back."

 

_"Alright..."_

He tried calling twice, which proved useless. Yurio didn't answer. Or wouldn't. Yuuri then texted him.

 

**YUURI:**

**Yuri where are you?**

 

**YURI:**

**what the fuck**

 

**YURI:**

**did beka call you?????**

 

**YUURI:**

**He didn't know where you were and called us.**

 

**YURI:**

**I'M OKAY**

**I TOLD HIM I'M OKAY**

**I'M NOT DRIVING OR ANYTHING**

 

**YUURI:**

**Just stay put. Please.**

 

**YURI:**

**TELL HIM TO STOP CALLING**

 

**YUURI:**

**I'm going to go get Otabek and we'll meet up with you.**

**Please just stay where you are okay?**

 

**YURI:**

**just stop**

 

Sighing in frustration, Yuuri set both phones on the bed to grab a shirt and a pair of pants. Victor was shaking his head as he read the texts, quietly remarking,  "What is he thinking? I knew he wouldn't react well, but...He knows better than to do such a thing."

 

Yuuri had no answer for him, and got dressed as quickly as he could. "Can you stay with Alyosha?"

 

"Alright," Victor replied after a moment's thought, getting up and taking Yuuri in his arms briefly and kissing him on the cheek. "Let me know as soon as you have him, and  _please_ be careful."

 

Nodding, Yuuri hugged him back and made his way out of the room, phone in hand. He paused in the hallway at Alyosha's door, briefly considering opening the door and peeking in but deciding not to. He'd be fine. Victor would look after him.

 

Once outside the apartment he was back on the phone with Otabek. "Otabek? Where are you?"

 

_"Still at our place. I don't...I don't know if I can ride my bike."_

 

"Don't try it. I'm going to drive over to your place and we'll start figuring out where he is. I'll call you when I'm outside."

 

_"Okay. I'm...I'm going to keep calling him."_

 

* * *

 

Alert and frantic as time passed, Yuuri wasn't sure how long he could last behind the wheel as he and Otabek kept searching.

 

He didn't dare look at the time. It would only increase his hopelessness and Otabek already looked like he was about to fall apart as he kept calling and texting Yurio.

 

Exiting the car, Yuuri felt a chill in the late spring night. It was the third bar they'd gone to, but they were both determined to keep looking, hopeless as it seemed.

 

At the door, Yuuri once again felt assaulted by the sting of alcohol in his nose. Otabek sighed heavily and murmured almost to himself, "He could be anywhere, and I didn't even think to make sure he was alright, or..."

 

"Otabek," Yuuri said firmly. "This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known he'd do this."

 

"He wasn't alright. I knew that much."

 

His eyes were filled with such guilt that Yuuri's heart ached. "Listen, let's split up and try to cover more ground. Ask around again."

 

Otabek nodded silently and they entered the bar.

 

Alcohol, pounding music, and the heat of perhaps three dozen bodies packed in one place made the air feel suffocatingly hot. Otabek went in one direction, armed with a picture of Yurio on his phone as he approached an older couple that still looked rather sober. 

 

Yuuri headed to the bar, bracing himself for yet another disappointment. 

 

The sound of spilling liquid and a furious yell had him looking to his left, and he froze when his eyes fell on who was sitting at the end of the bar.

 

At least he _was_ sitting, until a bigger guy with a fresh beer stain on the front of his shirt was lifting him up by the front of his shirt. "What the fuck is your problem, you little shit!?"

 

 _Oh no_ , Yuuri thought, blood turning to ice. Yurio's face already looked flushed with drink, and he also looked incredibly murderous as he glared at the other man.

 

" _FUCK OFF!"_ Yurio shouted, yanking himself away from the other man and sitting back down on his stool.

 

The other man, obviously drunk and very angry, roughly grabbed Yuri's shoulder and turned him around to face him again. "You gonna clean this mess up for me, little prick?"

 

"I don't have to do shit, you ugly fuck," Yurio hissed.

 

Staring in shock, Yuuri was sure Yurio was about to get himself killed. He considered turning and going to find Otabek, but the sight of the man tightening his fist at his side had him walking over quickly and thinking of how to get his student away from him. "Yurio!"

 

Yuri's eyes went wide and he turned towards Yuuri. "What the fuck are _you_ doing here?!"

 

Yuuri glared at him incredulously. He'd moved heaven and earth to find the little punk just as he was about to get his face smashed in, and that was the reception he'd gotten. 

 

He knew any glare of his would never be as powerful as Yakov's or Lilia's, but he could try. 

 

One of the bigger man's friends, looking like he'd been spooked to sobriety, lay a hand on his shoulder. "Ilya, lay off already."

 

Finding his own voice, Yuuri took a step forward and said to the man, "That's enough. Let him go."

 

At least his voice didn't tremble.

 

The man merely glared back at him and replied in a slurring voice, "Back off or I'll deal with you once I'm done with him-"

 

His grip on Yurio's shoulder wasn't that tight, so Yuuri, his heart racing, knew that that was his chance.

 

The big guy drew his fist back again, taking so long that his friend grabbed his arm to yank him back while Yuuri pulled Yurio towards him, catching him as soon as he stumbled with a muffled curse.

 

"We're out of here," Yuuri muttered, tugging Yurio along so he could quickly leave money with the bartender.

 

Dragging a protesting Yurio away, Yuuri didn't bother looking back when he heard Ilya shout, "YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR BOYFRIEND CAME TO RESCUE YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!"

 

Yuuri tightened his grip on Yurio, knowing he was seconds from bolting. He heard Ilya's friend growl, "God, Ilya, shut up before he comes back and kicks your ass."

 

Making his way through the bar while keeping an eye out for Otabek, Yuuri heard Yurio slur out grumpily as he tried to pull himself free, "Fucking let  _go_."

 

Yuuri turned to look at him with a glare. "Why? So you can get into another fight? That guy would've broken you over his knee, Yuri! Do you want to risk an injury  _now?"_

 

At that, Yuri's eyes filled with fury and he shouted, "FUCK OFF. YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND OR MY DAD!"

 

"No, but I  _am_ your coach, so for once in your life just shut up and listen to me," Yuuri shouted back before grabbing his phone again, ignoring Yurio's angry hissing.

 

**YUURI:**

**I've got him. Meet us outside.**

 

Moments later they found Otabek outside the door, his face flooding with relief when he caught sight of them. "Yuri! Thank God! What the hell were you thinking, leaving like that?!" he exclaimed, hurt anger replacing the worry. 

 

Yuri finally freed himself, eyes hard as he stared at Otabek unsteadily. "I would've been fine. Stop treating me like a fucking baby."

 

Wounded, Otabek replied, "I was worried about you!"

 

"You don't need to fucking worry about me! Stop fucking lecturing me." With that he started to stalk off down the street, tugging his hood up.

 

Staring after him helplessly, Yuuri had no clue what to do. Getting Yurio home was supposed to be the easy part, but...Otabek looked devastated, reaching towards Yurio before letting his hand fall to his side. "I don't know what to do." He turned to Yuuri and added, "He's not...not listening to me."

 

Yuuri bit his lip and tried to think of how to fix this. Yurio was drunk and hostile. Unreasonable and overwhelmed. Whatever the outcome, Yuuri was responsible for him. Sighing, he said to Otabek, "Look...wait by the car. I'll handle this. Call Victor and let him know we've got him."

 

Otabek nodded listlessly.

 

Making his way towards Yurio, Yuuri's mind was a complete blank. What would Victor say? Catching up to the stumbling young man, Yuuri walked alongside him until he stopped, muttering, "Yeah. I know. I'm acting like a piece of shit and treating Beka like crap. What else is new?"

 

His green eyes were filling with guilt, though still bright with intoxication, though that was quickly fading it seemed. "Yuri...I get it. What your mom said...I-it was a lot to take in," Yuuri remarked. It really was, and Yuuri couldn't imagine a world in which Yurio would react well.

 

Yurio shook his head, tugging his hood back down and running his fingers through his hair. "What would it change?" he suddenly asked, tears springing to his eyes. "I'm not exactly the best example of an older brother here! I'm a shitty boyfriend, so being a shitty brother wouldn't be a big surprise!"

 

Yuuri knew that feeling intimately, recalling all the times he felt inadequate as a husband, coach, and parent. "You're not either of those things! Yuri...Otabek's just worried about you. We all are. Any good partner would do that. You think Victor and I don't make each other worry?"

 

At that, Yuri's gaze turned cold and vicious, voice belligerent as he seethed, "Yeah. The perfect couple. The perfect parents. You two have everything figured out, don't you?" He walked up to Yuuri, who stood his ground and couldn't help thinking of their explosive first meeting in Sochi, when Yurio was several inches shorter. "You think you can just fix everything? That you've got all the answers just because you two are so stupidly happy?" he taunted. "You don't know shit, so stop talking to me like you do."

 

Yuuri wasn't sure what the boy expected from him. Shouting? Did he truly think all of that or was it just the remnants of alcohol talking? Whatever the truth, Yuuri could see the boy close himself off to him, unwilling to listen further. But Yuuri couldn't just resort to yelling when it would do no good. He wanted Yurio to trust him, to confide in him and Victor. 

 

It probably wouldn't do much good, but Yuuri had to try. Sighing, he gazed at Yurio steadily and  began quietly, "Yuri there's a difference between perfect and happy, and no couple is perfect."

Yuri just looked like he didn't believe a word Yuuri said. That or he was struggling to stay upright. Yuuri sighed again and took Yurio's hand in his to sit them both down on the sidewalk. Yuuri glanced at Otabek, who looked both worried and bewildered. Turning back to Yuri and deciding that trust went both ways, Yuuri blushed and blew out a long breath. "Okay, what I'm gonna tell you is...incredibly personal, especially now that I'm your coach. It's...kind of intimate, and it's the kind of thing  _I_ don't just talk about with anyone."

 

If he wanted to break Yuri's stubborn illusion of his coaches' claim to perfection, he had to make that leap. Besides, Yuri was already privy to a lot about Yuuri and Victor's relationship. Yuri stared at him blankly for a moment before asking, "...Did you and Victor make a sex tape?"

 

"NO!" Yuuri exclaimed, blushing harder and glaring at Yuri. Calming down he took another deep breath, praying for strength, and began again, "No, we...I mean we're _normal_. We've argued when we're...too tired to have normal conversations. Or anxious or overwhelmed. Marriage, coaching, and parenting are a lot to juggle, but Victor and I want to juggle it together."

 

He couldn't help smiling, especially when it seemed that Yuri was actually listening. His smile turned sheepish as he recalled the particular event in mind. It wasn't so amusing at the time, but looking back it was...just another tiny part of his life with Victor. "Two months ago we were both just feeling overwhelmed. I was nervous about failing you guys, and he was really tired. He's still so allergic to actually asking me for help. We were just snapping at each other and barely talking except when we were with Alyosha. I hated that we were so annoyed with each other, but I didn't know how to start fixing it."

 

He remembered the guilt and exasperation, and feeling that he was the one responsible for the whole thing. "It lasted about three days, and that night I decided I should probably sleep on the couch. Of course, Victor followed me to the living room and told me to go back to bed and he'd sleep on the couch. I told him no, and...I realized it was ten at night and we'd gotten to the point where we were fighting over who got to sleep on the couch."

 

He couldn't help his soft chuckle, well-aware that Yuri was staring at him incredulously. "Victor figured it out too, and...we just started laughing. I was trying to keep us both quiet because Alyosha was sleeping, but...I felt better. So much better than I had in days. And we...both ended up sleeping on the couch."

 

"Ew."

 

" _Literally_ , Yurio. We just...talked things over until we fell asleep. It was kind of embarrassing when Alyosha found us on the couch the next morning. Still, Victor and I made up." The memory of that morning had Yuuri's smile growing wider. "Perfect would've been us not letting all these changes get the better of us. Perfect would be...me knowing how to be the perfect coach and Victor delegating more than he does. Perfect would be...us knowing what to do now that we know about..."

 

"About me and Alyosha," Yuri finished, glaring at the ground. "I'm probably the last person you'd want as his brother."

 

"Of course not," Yuuri assured him firmly. Had they really not made it clear? "Yuri, we're _glad_ you're his brother. You practically already are. Don't ever sell yourself short like that. No matter what. We care about you, Yurio. All of us do."

 

It was a few moments before Yuri gave a small sniffle, muttering as he wiped his nose self-consciously, "Why the hell are you being so nice to me? I was a total shit to you when we met."

 

Yuuri laughed softly before placing a grounding hand on his student's shoulder. "Yeah, you were. But you grew out of it. Look, what I'm getting at is...None of us are perfect. We're not going to abandon you over anything you do. And Victor and I would never keep you away from Alyosha."

 

"Then why did..." Yuri sniffed again, ducking his face and hiding behind his long hair. "Why did she...?"

 

Ah. Yuuri got it. "Is it about your mom?"

 

Rubbing angrily at his eyes, Yuri muttered, "...I had my grandpa. He was all I needed, so why do I feel like this?"

 

"...Because you were just a kid," Yuuri replied, heart aching for Yuri and Alyosha. "You were a little boy who wanted his mom. Whatever her reasons...that doesn't change the fact that you wanted her." Then he added rather sadly. "Having us won't stop Alyosha from having questions."

 

Yuri scoffed. "He's lucky. He's got you guys. What does he need me around for?"

 

"I guarantee he'll be happy to have you as his brother," Yuuri said, giving him an encouraging shake.

 

"How the fuck do you know that?"

 

"Yuri, he idolizes you."

 

"He idolizes Beka. He's in love with Mila, and you and Victor are his heroes." Yuri then looked down again, looking like a child again. "I don't know anything about being a big brother."

 

Yuuri looked at him for a moment before replying, "Don't look at me. I'm the younger sibling."

 

Yuri gave him a jab with his elbow for that. Then he groaned and rubbed at his temples, muttering, "I feel like...Fuck, I just...You guys give him everything he needs. He's the happiest kid I know. I'm all grown up and I'm jealous. It's pathetic. I was luckier than he was. I had my grandpa. I didn't need anyone else." He looked at Yuuri almost desperately, like he wanted guidance or forgiveness. "I didn't grow up in a group home, waiting for someone to come along and find me. I watched that kid fucking transform thanks to you guys, and I still didn't have a clue."

 

Sympathy burned through Yuuri, and he squeezed his student's shoulder, hoping his words got through to him. They needed to tell Alyosha as soon as possible, for both brothers' sakes. "No matter what, you were always part of our family, Yurio."

 

"What, you want to adopt a fucking drunk disaster who'd get snapped like a toothpick in a fight?" Yurio scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

 

"Look, if you were sober you probably would've broken that guy's neck," Yuuri replied. "You're part of my family. You're my student. And you're someone I'm probably never going to stop worrying about. You're stuck with all of us. And the best part is I know you're still going to remember this, despite the massive hangover." He then got to his feet and held out his hand for Yuri to take. "Come on. Let's get you guys home."

 

Yuri regarded him for a moment before taking the offered hand and hauling himself up. 

 

He and Yuuri walked back to Otabek, Yuuri sensing the young man's apprehension as they approached his boyfriend.

 

Yuuri watched Yuri walk up to Otabek, avoiding his gaze. "I'm s-"

 

Otabek immediately took him in his arms with a relieved sigh. "Don't. I'm just glad you're safe. But don't ever do that again."

 

Eyes round with shock, Yuri relaxed into the embrace, and muttered into Otabek's neck, "What are you going to do? Microchip me?"

 

"Don't tempt me."

 

Yuuri smiled with relief as he watched them. At least he'd done this right on his own.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri made sure Yuri and Otabek made it back home, witnessing Yuri's less than ceremonious tumble onto the couch, falling asleep almost immediately. 

 

Sure that everything was fine, Yuuri made his way back home, exhausted yet full of energy.

 

Stepping into his home, Yuuri was not all that surprised to see Victor still sitting on the couch, quietly staring at his phone. He looked up and smiled happily, getting to his feet to once again hug Yuuri tightly. "How was everything? Is Yurio alright?"

 

"Yeah," Yuuri murmured, hugging Victor back and looking up to kiss him, long and warm. "He's going to be incredibly hungover, so maybe tone down the lecture tomorrow."

 

"I make no promises," Victor replied before raining kisses all over Yuuri's face while he tried not to giggle too loudly.

 

Taking Victor's hand, Yuuri led the way towards their son's room, taken by a sudden need to make sure he was safe too. 

 

He opened the door as quietly as he could, peeking at Alyosha's sleeping face, illuminated by his nightlight. "Did he wake up?"

 

"No, he's like you. Sleeps like a rock," Victor replied, smiling against Yuuri's neck and pressing another kiss to it. "Mmm, I did spend a few minutes praying he never gives us a scare like the one Yurio just gave us."

 

"Oh, God," Yuuri groaned softly, closing the door and hoping that day was a long way away.

 

Victor led him to their bedroom, and Yuuri sat down on the edge of the bed, suddenly very exhausted. As soon as Victor sat down Yuuri lay his head on his husband's lap, closing his eyes and relaxing as Victor's fingers steadily stroked through his hair.

 

"...I love you," he breathed, blushing as he said it.

 

Victor's hand paused and then he replied with warm joy in his voice, "I love you too,  _solnyshko._ "

 

Peering up at Victor, Yuuri lay his heart bare for his husband, trusting him completely. "I'm so lucky. You've given me so much, and I...keep wanting to give you everything in return."

 

"I'm the lucky one," Victor murmured, love filling his gaze.

 

Sitting up, Yuuri took Victor's hands in his. "Then we're both lucky. So is Alyosha...and any other kids we might have," he ventured to say softly.

 

He watched with a wide smile as Victor's eyes went wide with surprise right before joy filled his face. " _Really?_ You want us to have more?"

 

"Eventually, when the time's right," Yuuri replied with a soft laugh, knowing neither of them could be that patient. 

 

Victor wrapped him up in his arms and pulled him onto the bed with a gleeful hum before kissing Yuuri with no small amount of heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this whole thing out on my phone, good lord.


	7. Chapter 7

Yuri woke up with the mother of all hangovers.

 

His mouth tasted terrible and everything  _hurt_. And God, he remembered everything from the night before, which made his stomach twist unpleasantly. 

 

That was...all horribly embarrassing and a little more than he would have shared with the Katsudon when sober.

 

God, then that pathetic scene at the bar, with that goddamn ugly ape and Yuuri dragging him out like he was a belligerent toddler.

 

A hard pounding in his head put an end to that train of thought. After all that whole mess had been his fault. 

 

And what had he done when Otabek had come after him? Yelled at him.

 

Yuri buried his face further into his pillow and threw his blanket over himself, face flushed with shame and pain lanced between his shoulder blades as he moved, his knee gently touching something soft and furry.

 

Potya let out an annoyed  _mrow_ before padding over towards Yuri's face and trying to burrow underneath the blanket. Yuri groaned just as the door opened, and another hot flush passed through his body as he realized that it could only be Otabek.

 

Yuri was no coward. 

 

Yes, yes he was. He had to be after last night, running away to make things worse rather than say everything he'd needed to say. He'd said most of it to Yuuri, who'd somehow been able to deduce even more. It was probably a parent thing, a thought that made Yuri flush hotter. Was that really what he wanted? What he was so envious of? 

 

Did he want his coaches to be that for him?

 

Was that what he needed?

 

He'd denied that Yuuri was his dad last night when Yuuri was hauling him out of the bar for his own good, before he fucked up his own life. He'd had a dad, one he only knew about thanks to his grandfather, seen photos of. 

 

He needed no one else. Wanting was another matter, and what he wanted was...confusing.

 

He felt the edge of the bed sag under Otabek's weight, and flinched a little when he felt Otabek's hand on top of his head.

 

"Good morning," Otabek said quietly.

 

Yuri dared to peek from under the blanket, avoiding Otabek's gaze and grateful that he hadn't turned the light on. "Don't you mean afternoon?  _Fuck_ , my head..."

 

"No, it's still early. A few minutes after nine," Otabek replied with a soft laugh. "Here, water and aspirin."

 

"Thanks," Yuri muttered, forcing himself to sit up and take the glass and pill. He forced himself to take several gulps of water, his throat rebelling briefly before he emptied the glass. He kept staring at it in his hand, not sure where to begin with Otabek, who just...stayed. He stayed despite everything and wanted to keep staying for some reason, even when Yuri pushed him away. "Sorry," he said, throat growing tight and body aching with the effort of not looking at the other man.

 

Then Otabek wrapped an arm around him, holding him close as he pressed several kisses to Yuri's hair. "You scared the hell out of me," he murmured against the top of Yuri's head.

 

"I know. I know, it was stupid, but..." Yuri shook his head, pressing his cheek against Otabek's chest. "I don't know, I just needed to feel something else other than...whatever the fuck I was feeling. Whole lot of good it did after the Katsudon got there."

 

"You remember that?" Otabek asked with a short laugh.

 

"Yeah, I remember that," Yuri said sheepishly. "I couldn't talk to you. I thought I could handle it by myself." His throat ached and he swallowed again before confessing, "I...hate not knowing what's going to happen. He's my brother and...I'm scared shitless of losing him." His heartbeat raced at the admission, at saying it out loud for the first time. He kept thinking back to the looks of shock on Yuuri and Victor's faces when he told them what he knew, what that possibly could have meant.

 

Otabek pressed his lips to Yuri's head again, giving him a brief squeeze. "You're not going to lose him because no one's going to take him away from you. Do you really think Victor and Yuuri would do that?"

 

"No? I don't..." It sounded so irrational said aloud, and Yuri's cheeks flushed hotter. He sat up, looking at himself still clad in the clothes he'd worn the night before on his embarrassing excursion. Trying to make sense of his thoughts he explained, "I don't think I ever wanted a brother or sister. I just wanted...I don't know, I wanted Mom to pay attention to me, and to make my grandpa proud."

 

Otabek hummed in understanding, stroking Yuri's back in soothing motions. "But what do you want now?"

 

"Right now?" Yuri let out a short laugh and gave Potya a gentle scratch between her ears. "Right now I want a shower."

 

He had to at least make himself presentable if he was going to do this...whatever it was.

 

* * *

 

Yuri wasn't sure how to react when Victor opened the door, his eyes going wide for a moment in surprise before he smiled at Yuri like nothing was amiss.

 

"Good morning, boys!" he greeted cheerily as he stood aside to let them in. "We were just getting breakfast started!"

 

Yuri felt his eye twitch at the volume of Victor's voice, realizing he was doing it on purpose. "Is Coach Katsudon up?" he muttered as he stepped inside, Otabek following close behind.

 

"Making breakfast," he heard Yuuri call from within, spotting him across the counter at the stove, cooking something that Yuri knew would fill up his currently empty stomach, no matter how much it was still rebelling. His second coach looked over at him with a welcoming smile. He looked weary, Yuri realized with a guilty pang. Most likely the guy hadn't slept after saving Yuri's hide at that bar.

 

"Yuri!" he heard a young voice call, looking down in time to see Alyosha hugging his legs again. Yuri couldn't help but grin despite the still-surprised beat his heart gave as he looked down at his brother, tempered by the familiar warmth he'd always felt. "You left too soon the other day! Where'd you go?"

 

Those blue eyes stared up at him expectantly, wide and curious, a trait that...was pretty much Victor's. Yuri patted the top of his head and replied as evenly as he could, "I went to visit my grandpa. Why, did you miss me?"

 

"Yeah!" Alyosha exclaimed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And my dads were acting weird after you left," he added quietly.

 

Frowning, Yuri looked over at the two men.

 

Victor had appeared and was hugging Yuuri by the waist from behind, whispering in his ear and pressing kisses to the back of his flushed neck while Yuuri laughed softly and tipped his head forward to expose his neck more. 

 

Rolling his eyes, Yuri looked away from them, his cheeks burning a little at the thought of those two worrying about him, on the ice and off. He supposed he had given them and Otabek plenty of reason to. 

 

Letting go of Yuri's legs, Alyosha went on to grab Otabek by the hand to lead him over to the kitchen. "Come on, Tou-san's making omelets."

 

At that, Yuri's stomach grumbled, and not necessarily in the good way.

 

To his misfortune, though, Victor seemed to have lost interest in his morning grope, walking right towards Yuri with a wide smile on his face. Yuri groaned internally, thinking that Victor was seconds away from launching a tirade that would probably end up a pale imitation of Yakov's. Then his coach's hand landed on his shoulder, and Yuri was proud to say that he didn't flinch, but he did aim a glare at Victor, daring him to scold him.

 

Then the balding asshole started leading him back towards the door, ignoring his outraged exclamation to call over his shoulder to Otabek and the Katsudon, "You three go ahead and get started! Yurio and I are going to have a quick word outside!"

 

" _What?!_ " Yuri shouted.

 

Victor ignored the annoyance in Yuri's voice and had his hand on the door knob when he turned to Otabek, who stood by the table with Alyosha, and asked cheerily, "You won't mind if I take him off your hands for a few moments, right Otabek?"

 

For a moment Yuri thought he was saved. And then Otabek smiled at Yuri before dragging a chair out for Alyosha to clamber onto. "He's all yours," he said blandly.

 

 _Fucking traitor_ , Yuri thought viciously, glaring at him and then at the Katsudon, who only gave Yuri a pathetic shrug before turning back to the stove.

 

Once the door was shut, Yuri shrugged Victor's hand off his shoulder, not wanting to be marched down the stairs. To his immense relief, Victor didn't start rambling right away. He let them make their way down to the ground floor in silence, though Yuri could feel his coach's gaze on the back of his neck.

 

Outside the building, Yuri shut his eyes against the sun's glare, groaning quietly as he brought a hand up to shield his eyes. 

 

"How are you feeling?" he heard Victor ask.

 

Yuri threw the other man a quick glare. "Like shit. How else am I supposed to feel?"

 

Victor nodded, still quiet for a moment before sighing as his smile faded a little. "...You know you scared us last night."

 

"I know," Yuri muttered, staring at the ground to avoid both the sun and Victor's gaze.

 

"I stayed up, waiting for Yuuri to call, to tell me that you were alright." Victor wasn't smiling anymore when Yuri finally did look up, but he didn't look angry either. Just incredibly tired and worried. God, that had to be a parent thing happening, and Yuri wasn't sure how to feel about that. 

 

He swallowed, cheeks burning a little, and replied, "I'm sorry. I fucked up, I know. I got that."

 

Victor sighed again, nodding briefly, and then saying, "I know what Yuuri said to you, and what you said to him. First of all, we will never keep you away from Alyosha. If you want to tell him who you are to each other, if you want to tell the world, we'll support that. Second...whatever you may think, you're not alone." Then Victor smiled again, some of his humor coming back. "Someone has to be around to annoy you, after all."

 

Yuri scoffed before returning the smile. "Unfortunately that's fucking true."

 

"And I'm not just saying this as your coach," Victor added. "Whatever you need, Yuuri and I are both here. You know that, right? And you can tell us anything you want"

 

Yuuri had said as much when Victor replaced Yakov. Yuri's throat tightened again at the reminder, and like last night he had no clue what to respond with, even though he was sober. "I don't even know what I want or need," he blurted out, face hot as he sat down on one of the benches. Merely two weeks before he and the Katsudon had been sitting on it with Alyosha between them, Yuri throwing horns up at Victor's phone while Alyosha and the Katsudon made funny faces so Victor could take about a dozen photos. He wanted things to be  _that_ simple again, even after everything. "It's all so stupid. But...It's not like you guys can actually be my dads."

 

He wanted to take it back as soon as he said it, and he refused to look at Victor. He just wanted the ground to swallow him up, to take the entire week back and everything could be back to normal or...not normal, but the way it all used to be when Yuri didn't talk about this shit...

 

But he didn't hear Victor laugh. He heard him sit beside him but, thank God, Victor didn't touch him. But Yuri could feel him staring at him for several moments before he finally said, "We can be whatever you need, Yura. We can be your friends, your mentors, your coaches. Whatever you want to call us, we've always thought of you as our family."

 

Yuri didn't say anything. Couldn't actually say anything. If he did he was pretty sure he was going to do something even more embarrassing, and he was not about to cry and let Victor comfort him. That would give the guy way too much satisfaction.

 

But when Victor put his hand on his shoulder again, Yuri didn't shrug it off. He sighed shakily, feeling the grounding squeeze of Victor's hand, and thought about Alyosha, who had their mother's eyes and actually wanted Yuri in his life.

 

And would that change if he knew who they were to each other?

 

Would he have even more questions? Questions about their mother, or his biological father?

 

"Do you want to tell him, Yuri?" Victor asked.

 

Yuri raised his gaze to Victor's, those blue eyes steady and thoughtful while he knew his own were full of tears he couldn't shed yet. Certainly not in public. 

 

And despite the overwhelmed feelings in his heart, he realized he hadn't even given himself time to figure out how he felt about having a brother. About having Alyosha as his brother, a kid who ran to him whenever he showed up, and who acted like everything he did was something amazing. A kid who blossomed after coming into their lives.

 

Things would change, Yuri knew, but he...wanted his brother to know it. He couldn't imagine going through life keeping it from him. Even thinking of it hurt. 

 

And like Yuuri had said, Alyosha had questions, the kind Yuri could probably answer. 

 

He rubbed his face with his hands and took a deep breath before saying, "I do. I want to tell him, but...But I need your help."

 

"Of course we'll help you," Victor replied, giving Yuri's arm a long, encouraging squeeze before getting to his feet and tugging Yuri up to his. "Come on! We'll have breakfast and then Yuuri and I will help you figure out what to say to your little brother!"

 

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Yuri muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next (the last chapter) is Alyosha's reaction, I promise!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song for the chapter - carry you (feat. fleurie) by ruelle
> 
>  
> 
> just in time for movie news this week!!!! :D

For all his achievements and everything Yakov and Victor put him through for the sake of helping him get even further, Yuri had never been more terrified than he was now, sitting across from Victor, Yuuri, and Alyosha, the boy - his brother - staring at him like he was seeing Yuri for the first time.

 

Yuri had felt oddly disconnected from all of them as he told Alyosha, as simply and uncomplicated as he could, even as his stomach rebelled, that they were brothers, that he'd found out a couple of days ago, and that he and his dads thought it best to tell him.

 

Otabek must have read the look on his face, because the feeling of his hand squeezing his shoulder began to let Yuri feel a little grounded, and he was back sitting in the armchair, trying to stop avoiding Alyosha's searching gaze. Yuuri and Victor sat on either side of him, quiet and looking like they were waiting for any kind of reaction from the kid, and Yuuri's eyes briefly met Yuri's, filled with concern.

 

After what felt like an eternity, Alyosha turned to Yuuri and asked him, "Yura's my brother?"

 

Yuri inhaled sharply. Did he not believe it at first? Did he really need Yuuri to confirm it? Yuuri just nodded with a slight smile at the kid and said, "He is."

 

"But...we didn't grow up together."

 

"Sometimes siblings don't get to grow up together, Lyosha," Victor explained.

 

Yuri felt his throat grow tight, his nails digging into his palms as he stared at his knees. He could feel Alyosha's gaze on him, and asked him directly, "So we have the same parents?"

 

Swallowing, Yuri answered as steadily as he could, "We have the same mom."

 

He looked up at Alyosha then, meeting the blue of his eyes and telling himself that they weren't just a reflection of their mother's. Then Alyosha bit his lip, shoulders appearing tense as he briefly glanced at his own knees before asking, "What about our dad?"

 

Yuri caught the way Yuuri stiffened right before Victor reached over from behind Alyosha, touching Yuuri's arm with tenderness. Looking at them both, Yuri reached up to touch Otabek's hand, still on his shoulder, and tried to figure out the best way to explain this without fucking it up. "...We've got different dads. Mine died when I was a baby, and yours..." He knew he had to look Alyosha in the eye as he said it. It was only the truth, and Yuri couldn't lie or get the kid's hopes up. "I don't really know where he is."

 

He looked away again, not knowing if his answer had disappointed Alyosha. But there was no disguising the desperate curiosity in his voice when he asked, "Do you know why my mom left me?"

 

Yuri couldn't look at him. How was he supposed to answer that, whatever his mother had told him? What answer could he give that wouldn't break his brother's heart? Then Yuuri gently touched Alyosha's shoulder and said, "Sometimes parents can't take care of their kids. And...from what we've heard, your mom did the best she could."

 

Yuri sighed, closing his eyes briefly and silently thanking Yuuri for taking that out of his hands. No matter how Yuri actually felt about his mother, it was the best thing they could say to Alyosha.

 

Alyosha looked thoughtful for a few moments, like he was absorbing Yuuri's words, and then looked at Yuri again and asked, "What's she like, Yura?"

 

He felt his pulse drop, and cleared his throat before saying, "I...didn't really get to spend a lot of time with her, growing up. My grandpa was the one who raised me." He didn't know how Alyosha would take that, if he'd mull over that information and wonder what his life would've been like. 

 

And Yuri knew he'd probably wonder too.

 

"What does she look like?" Alyosha suddenly asked.

 

Yuri started at that, but couldn't help smiling a little, his feelings sort of...mixed up. "Kind of like me. But you've got her eyes."

 

"And..." Alyosha bit his lip again and looked at both his parents apprehensively. "...Does she know that I got adopted?"

 

"I don't think so," Yuri replied, eyeing Yuuri and Victor carefully. They looked back at him with gentle urging, like they were trying to tell him that it was fine to make the suggestion as it came to him. "Did you...Do you want to meet her?"

 

The boy looked down again, still biting his lip and suddenly looking like the timid boy Victor and Yuuri had brought home. "...I don't know..." he said, his voice quiet and afraid.

 

Yuri guessed that this was the part where the kid needed a hug, but his muscles seemed to lock up, seeing Alyosha like that. Then Victor immediately wrapped Alyosha up in his arms, tight and secure, making Yuri's heart give a pained twinge as his brother grabbed Victor's arm, Victor softly saying to him, "That's okay. You can meet her whenever you want to."

 

Yuuri squeezed Alyosha's shoulder again, smiling at the boy comfortingly when Alyosha gave him an anxious look, one that faded as the moments passed.

 

Glancing up at Otabek, Yuri drew what comfort he could from the encouraging look in his boyfriend's eyes, trying not to feel too jealous. 

 

He supposed that sight, that was the feeling Victor couldn't put into words years ago. No words, but actions, and the look on Alyosha's face said it all.

 

Calm again, Alyosha hung on to Victor's arm as he asked Yuri in a hopeful tone, "So if we're brothers...does that mean you'll be around more?"

 

Yuri looked at him with surprise, hearing Otabek give a soft chuckle above him. "Uh...y-yeah. Yeah, I will," he replied, a little embarrassed by how happy that made him.

 

Then Alyosha smiled, a little shy but still practically glowing with...delight, Yuri, realized. He turned to Yuuri and asked hopefully, "And will my new baby brother or sister be his baby brother or sister too?"

 

What.

 

Yuri gaped at his coaches, because neither of them had mentioned  _that_ development. "...What _baby?"_ he asked, surprise making him stand up.

 

Yuuri couldn't seem to resist letting out an excited laugh, smiling sheepishly at Yuri and explaining, "We decided to adopt again."

 

Wow.

 

Then again, Yuri realized he didn't need to be so surprised. What made him think these two idiots would wait much longer to keep adding to their family? Hell, they'd probably want a third kid in another couple of years. They'd be sixty years old and still raising kids. Their own private hockey team if Alyosha had anything to say about it, no doubt.

 

Victor was beaming as he gave Alyosha one more squeeze before getting to his feet and taking a step towards Yuri, saying with absolute certainty, "That's right. Yura's part of our family, so he's going to be a big brother again very soon." Then he was hugging Yuri, who was caught completely off-guard, his breath knocked out of him by the warm embrace Victor had him in.

 

Before he knew it Yuuri was hugging him too, and so was Alyosha.  Somewhere in there Otabek managed to grab Yuri's hand in both of his, squeezing it gently.

 

A long time ago Yuri would have protested. He might have struggled out of their grips, embarrassed and irritated by the display.

 

Yet all he could feel in that moment was relief, and his other hand found the top of Alyosha's head, his fingers impulsively dragging through his brother's light brown hair.

 

He made some sort of noise deep in his throat, and by some miracle neither Victor nor Yuuri commented on it, merely holding him tighter.

 

* * *

 

Yuri watched several emotions flicker across his mother's face as she stared at the image on his phone. Surprise, joy, sadness, everything in between.

 

He said nothing, watching her silently and wondering, like he'd known he would. Whatever either of them were thinking, nothing would change the way things had turned out. 

 

And thankfully Yuri's mother seemed to know that, her mouth a tremulous line as she asked in a shaky voice, "So...he's alright?"

 

"Yeah. He's...amazing," he said. He missed Alyosha, even though he'd seen him the day before. It had been a week since he confessed the truth to Alyosha, and his brother wanted him around all the time, even more than before, it seemed. It was...nice, and he couldn't even find it in himself to feel too annoyed about all those extra doses of Victor and Yuuri in a domestic setting. 

 

"He knows about us being brothers. I told him as much as I could about you, but...I know he's got a million more questions that I can't answer," he told his mother frankly. He'd only waited so long to speak to her because he kept trying to make sure his coaches were okay with her knowing.

 

His mother nodded, quiet for a moment, her eyes contemplative. "Did he want to meet me?" she asked.

 

He heard the hope in her voice and ignored it, simply answering, "He hasn't figured that out yet."

 

She looked at him before nodding again in quiet acceptance, her disappointment a little apparent. "That's fine...Your coaches...They seem like good fathers."

 

"Yeah, they are," Yuri immediately said, not wanting her to doubt that for a second.

 

His mother gazed at the image of Alyosha standing on the ice, imitating his favorite of Yuuri's old routines with a huge smile. After another minute she handed Yuri back his phone, saying, "It's good to know that he's happy. And...I hope that...I can meet him one day, if he wants to."

 

Yuri nodded, choosing not to respond to that with anything that would get her hopes up. No one would push Alyosha to do anything he wasn't ready to do. "I'll...send you more photos," he promised her. He could give her that much.

 

"Thank you," she said quietly, looking small and vulnerable, not at all like the stony image Yuri had of her back when he was his brother's age.

 

Later they parted with a quick brush of his mother's lips on his cheek, and Yuri felt as though his skin buzzed after the contact as he watched her walk away, her head slightly bowed and her hair shining yellow in the late afternoon sun.

 

Yuri felt his phone vibrate and swiped his thumb across the screen.

 

**OTABEK:**

**I've got Alyosha with me.**

 

**YURI:**

**????**

**OTABEK:**

**Victor asked if we could take him for a few hours.**

 

**YURI:**

**Why?**

 

**OTABEK:**

**I don't know but he and Yuuri looked like they really wanted us out of there as soon as possible.**

 

**YURI:**

**Ew**

 

**OTABEK:**

**This from the guy who had his hand down my pants yesterday morning before practice?**

 

**YURI:**

**DON'T MENTION THAT AFTER MAKING ME PICTURE THOSE IDIOTS GOING AT IT**

 

**OTABEK:**

**Got it.**

**Also, Alyosha says hi.**

 

**YURI:**

**DON'T LET HIM READ OVER YOUR SHOULDER**

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

**Two years later**

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri gathered his hair up into a ponytail, going over the step sequence in his head even though his feet knew it by heart. "Aren't you getting bored? You've watched me skate this about a thousand times already," he said gruffly, though he still tossed a smirk over his shoulder.

 

Alyosha was leaning on the barrier, his smile eerily similar to Victor's nowadays as he watched Yuri get ready. "I just want to see if you'll chicken out and not add that surprise rotation. Dad and Tou-san got to you right before the Final, didn't they?"

 

Yuri rolled his eyes at his brother. Victor and Yuuri didn't  _get_ to him. It just wasn't worth the argument, at least not when those two had a million things to worry about, especially now that they were coaching a not-so-little Lutz Nishigori. 

 

That had been an unexpected surprise, one that involved several long discussions with her parents and even her sisters before she made the transition from Hasetsu to St. Petersburg. She'd lost that childish puggishness, but still had that same stubbornly determined, distinctly Nishigori look whenever she skated. 

 

Mila and Sara were currently hosting her, not minding her presence even in the early years of their marriage. She made a point of going to every one of Alyosha's hockey games, and was pretty fair competition for Victor and Yuuri's shouts of encouragement.

 

"I might decide to surprise them at Nationals," Yuri confided with a casual shrug. "And maybe at Worlds too. Just don't tell them."

 

"I won't," Alyosha said, looking over his shoulder with a grin. "But you know how they are. They won't stay mad for long."

 

They shared a laugh with that, because the kid was right. Victor would probably give him that scary smile and Yuuri would shake his head in exasperation before relenting and giving him those same proud looks they'd been giving him for years, hugging him before Otabek even got a chance to.

 

"I don't know who's the bad example anymore," Yuri heard his husband remark as he skated over towards them, his dark eyes twinkling with mirth.

 

Yuri immediately found Otabek's hand with his, and felt the warm metal of his wedding ring against his skin. Otabek had proposed a year after the discovery about Alyosha, and the only reason Yuri had suspected anything was because the Katsudon kept tearing up every time he so much as glanced at them that entire week before Otabek finally got on one knee and asked him if he'd marry him. Then the asshole even went so far as to ask Yuri's grandfather for permission, which he immediately gave while Yuri tried to keep his heart from fucking exploding. Their wedding was soon after that, and not the massive affair that Victor and Yuuri's or Mila and Sara's had been, but it was perfect and one of the best days of Yuri's life. "It's definitely him," he said, pointing a thumb in Alyosha's direction. 

 

Alyosha just rolled his eyes at them, his smile easy and content. He'd met their mother a handful of times, the first few accompanied by either one or both of his parents. Only once did Yuri join them, watching as she asked Alyosha how school and hockey were going. Alyosha seemed comfortable, even if Yuri didn't quite feel that way even with the passing of time. 

 

"Who's a bad influence?"

 

The kid turned to look over his shoulder at Yuuri, who walked over towards the bleachers and sat down to tighten his laces and check his skate blades. "Yura says it's me," Alyosha informed him. 

 

Yuuri smiled up at his son before getting to his feet, placing a hand against the top of the barrier and easily stretching a leg up, though he couldn't help grunting as he did it. "And here I was hoping you'd be a good influence on your sister."

 

Yuri watched Alyosha's smile widen at the mention of that baby girl, and couldn't help grinning again. 

 

They all turned towards the locker rooms when they heard said baby coo, followed by Victor's adoring coos as he carried her in, noisily kissing her plump cheek.

 

They'd gotten Nao as a newborn six months before from a young woman from Osaka living in St. Petersburg who'd planned on giving her baby in adoption. She had sweet brown eyes that had her dads melting whenever she looked at them, and long limbs that flailed and kicked whenever she had what the Katsudon called "tummy time," twisting herself around at three months old while Victor took videos of her and Yuuri and Alyosha gave her encouragements.

 

The timing of her arrival had resulted in a handful of hectic months, all of them scrambling to help Yuuri and Victor get ready with clothes and toys and a rocking chair and a changing table and the million other things babies needed that made Yuri realize he and Otabek would have to think long and hard about kids. But that certainly wasn't something he'd even mention within earshot of either Mila or his coaches, knowing their excitement would be a  _lot_ to deal with.

 

Nao herself was plump and giggly, and Yuri was proud to say that she felt as calm in his arms as she did with her parents and brother, though he hadn't quite forgiven her for puking on him the last time he burped her. "There's your brother," Victor cooed before handing her to Alyosha, who carried her quite easy now despite being a nervous wreck the first time Yuuri had placed her in his arms.

 

Yuri watched his coaches gaze at the two with total adoration, Victor pressing a quick kiss to Yuuri's cheek while Yuuri gave Victor's waist a brief squeeze. Their honeymoon period just seemed never-ending, and Yuri had long ago lost his exasperation over it. Hell, they still laughed like fucking kids whenever they accidentally switched glasses. Alyosha once confided that he woke up late one night to find his parents dancing in Nao's room, swaying slowly with Victor holding Nao between them. Apparently it was something that happened frequently.

 

Yuuri, smiling with absolute contentment, took his glasses off and handed them to Victor, who put them securely in a case and put them in the pocket of his jacket, reaching up to briefly cradle Yuuri's face in his hand before murmuring something Yuri didn't catch. Whatever it was it made the Katsudon blush.

 

Stepping on to the ice, Yuuri slid his way to Yuri, who rolled his shoulders to loosen up as he met the determined look on his coach's face. 

 

"Ready?" Yuuri asked, his hands on his hips as he looked right at Yuri, his voice firm and his smile encouraging.

 

Yuri looked right back at him with a smirk, remembering what Victor once told the both of them about doing the unexpected. With a wink in his brother's direction, Yuri answered his coach. "Ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I was going to find a way to bring baby Nao from the omegaverse stories in ;) (along with *a* Nishigori triplet because I could NOT help myself xD)
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and encouragement! I love each and every one of you! :)


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